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dh has left me and I have nothing to live off

(11 Posts)
NAR4 Sat 23-Aug-14 08:03:08

I only work 9hrs a WK, term time, so earn hardly anything. To add to this I will also now have to pay for childcare while I work, so think I am likely to be left with arnd £10 per wk. Dh and me have a house jointly (with a mortgage) but no other loans. How does this all work? Am I entitled to any benefit to live off or for housing? I will have 3 children under 16 living with me.

Sooo much to sort out, my head is spinning as to were I start.

Blueuggboots Sat 23-Aug-14 09:00:51

get an appointment with a solicitor for free half an hour ASAP.
Could you got Citizen's Advice? What does you DH do? He will have to pay maintenance for the children.
Hope you get things sorted, and I am sure more knowledgeable people will be along soon.

NAR4 Sun 24-Aug-14 00:15:18

I have a free solicitor appointment next Saturday, which is the earliest they could do. Forgot that dh would have to pay maintenance. Citizen Advice here runs for a couple of hrs a wk, by appointment only, so I will be seeing the solicitor first anyway. Just a wk seems forever at the moment.

Thanks for replying Blue.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor Sun 24-Aug-14 00:32:39

Have a look at, you put your details in and it calculates any benefits you should receive

Hope you get things sorted out quickly

NAR4 Sun 24-Aug-14 11:49:16

Thanks Mr Jolly. That sounds exactly what I need because I think I am going to need to claim benefit but have no idea what.

Greengrow Tue 26-Aug-14 12:08:37

Also as you are married not just living together in law if your ex earns more he should be paying interim maintenance for you and for the chidlren. if he does not your solicitor can apply to court on an emergency basis for reasonable sums pending the final divorce finances hearing or agreement between him and you.

Also he needs childcare as much as you do and should be paying for it. We both worked full time and our biggest family expense was a daily nanny. that was not my expense - it was as much his to enable him to work.

juliascurr Tue 26-Aug-14 12:11:23

they should help

rainbowinmyroom Tue 26-Aug-14 12:13:30

He needs to pay up. You will not get housing benefit for the house except for perhaps the interest on the mortgage after some time and this is if you are JSA and do not have asses totalling over the threshold.

Definitely see a solicitor.

NAR4 Tue 26-Aug-14 22:48:16

Been on the entitled to website and have found it very helpful. Have now got dh to agree to pay all utilities at the moment, in lue of child maintenance. He has also agreed to pay all costs directly relating to the children ie hobbies, school bus, new uniforms etc.

Thank you everyone. Now my initial panic is over I think dh is still going to support us financially while I get sorted.

We have been together 22yrs and there is noone else. I think it is going to be a vagley agreeable seperation. It's mainly the shock at the moment.

NAR4 Mon 01-Sep-14 08:17:01

How naive am I that he would be reasonable!

He has since reported to the police that he is an abused husband (suspecting so he can get me out the house, as his parents aren't making it as easy (temporarily) staying with him as he thought they would, and has reported me to Social Care, saying I am violent and he is scared for the children's safety living with me. These 2 things have cut me to the core and I feel totally devastated that he could sink sooo low and be that cruel.

Time for me to toughen up I think.

whyMe2014 Sun 02-Nov-14 23:18:18

Be strong NAR4.

My stbxh entered a domestic violence report against me as well (and he is a serving police officer). He said I hit him on front of the children. I was devastated. How could he do it to me after being together 23 years and married for 14. But as time has gone on I realise that the person I married is no longer there - he has been replaced by an evil, cold hearted, emotionally and financially abusive creature who I do not recognise. It hurts like hell.

I feel for you sweetheart. I know all the emotions you are going through.

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