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1st legal appt, what do i take?? Apart from bags of courage...

(18 Posts)
SwiftRelease Fri 04-Jul-14 10:13:27

Thank you

SwiftRelease Sat 05-Jul-14 17:56:45


SwiftRelease Tue 08-Jul-14 11:52:37


Romeyroo Tue 08-Jul-14 19:23:13

You need your passport and two forms of formal ID for starters.
Also be clear as you can about the situation and what you are asking. Write it down if necessary to make sure you have covered everything. Do not be afraid to answer questions.

SwiftRelease Tue 08-Jul-14 20:27:33

Ok thats. Trying to be clear-headed and failing!cant velieve am finalky doung this. Dread the falliut tho dor i know dh is already plotting. He has a high income vehind him to fund a real fight.

SwiftRelease Tue 08-Jul-14 20:28:20

Meant thanks!

MyLittleFinger Tue 08-Jul-14 20:32:53

Take your marriage certificate both parties give one to their Solicitor, they cost about £10 for a copy.

Romeyroo Tue 08-Jul-14 22:09:30

In that case, don't be rushed into anything, unless it is absolutely pressing like you need to secure your safety. The solicitor is there to give you advice, you can take your time to decide how to instruct him or her, because I think if there will be a lot of pressure, it is good to know where your boundaries are, what you are prepared to compromise on and where there is no room for manoeuvre from your POV. To be honest, the best advice and action my solicitor took at the start simply involved buying time, getting an interim solution in place, till the initial hostility calmed down and I could think straight, or at least straighter.

For me, the first solicitor I saw was not the one who ended up representing me as I found her manner awful. It took me six weeks to get up the courage to see another, so your fears are normal. A good solicitor will put you at ease and make things seem more manageable.

SwiftRelease Tue 08-Jul-14 22:15:34

Thanks, Romey. What kind of interim options can be arranged? God knows how will get dh out of house (not as in safety but as in stubborn) plus ideally i want to move anyway to be nearer dds schools. Tho rightmove has given me a reality check, cd neither afford to rent nor buy anywhere like where we currently live on my own. To think i once owned a london flat on my own with high equity!!!

Romeyroo Tue 08-Jul-14 22:36:34

For us, it was dc contact arrangements and clarity about ownership of property (the marital home had belonged to me prior to the marriage). It was hugely acrimonious as he did not accept the marriage was over (and he is very controlling!) and plus, dc2 was too small for overnight contact and I was still breastfeeding, so her view was to allow things to settle before we even discussed longer term arrangements.
And in retrospect, she was absolutely right, not because time made things more amicable (although less overtly hostile) but because time allowed me to heal and cope better. If I read back her letters in getting that time, she was fairly aggressive though! But it meant I did not have to be.

Not sure if that is any help at all. It is a horrid position to be in, but you will get through it.

SwiftRelease Tue 08-Jul-14 22:40:08

Goodness, sounds tough with such a wee one! Terrier lawyer though hey? Must get myself one. Think dh will either already be plotting or will flatly refuse to believe over also. Aargh! Probably being v naive!

wilfreda Tue 08-Jul-14 22:54:55

I had first appt with solicitor over the the phone today. I feel for you it's so scary.
Romeyroo did you stay in same house with dh for a bit then?
Swiftrelease - I had same rightmove reality check! Solicitor did make me feel a bit better tho so hope yours does too.

Romeyroo Tue 08-Jul-14 23:15:14

Terrier is a bit unfair, more like she adapts the tone to the situation. She is actually mild-mannered but brooks no nonsense and I think it was just reading the letters back when it was less stressful, was a bit OMG.

He did work away, but we had about six weeks when he was still there on and off, and four months after that when he was still trying to get through the door (actually, he still gives it a go now and then). He has a flat now, which marital savings went towards, so he was not out on the street.

SwiftRelease Wed 09-Jul-14 06:59:18

Ok hope things are getting easier now under separate rooves? I dream of/dread it in equal measure! So daunting all this.

EarthWindFire Wed 09-Jul-14 09:04:35

What I would say is be realistic about what you need. Over exaggeration does not go down well with the judicial system.

SwiftRelease Wed 09-Jul-14 14:38:38

Noted yes need to sort myself out

wilfreda Thu 10-Jul-14 22:04:59

Swifttelease have you had your appt yet? If so how did it go?

meadowquark Thu 10-Jul-14 22:57:21

I am seeing a lawyer for the first time in 4 weeks. Husband does not know yet I am planning a divorce. My main worry is how to protect my house, as since H and I have completely separate finances, I paid large deposit for the house and he has not contributed a penny, but rather has been sending his money to his account abroad and is being very secretive. I know the shit about the house being marital asset but I just want my fair share especially that he earns more, contributes very little and I will have primary care of DC. Fingers crossed the solicitor will have a good advice for me (I am almpst ready to sell my house at this point and hide the proceedings in a foreign account - believe me if you hear my story it wouldn't be wrong to do it).

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