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My sisters dilema.......

(7 Posts)
lottie89 Thu 12-Jun-14 21:28:42

First time poster here. My sister is friends with a male work colleague who is currently at the early stages of a divorce. His ex wife thinks he had an affair with my sister and wants to file for divorce on the grounds of adultery. My sister has told me that there wasn't an affair and there is not one now. I believe her 100%. The male friend will not accept adultery as grounds for divorce.
The ex wife keeps sending text messages to my sister trying to get her to engage in a conversation or speak to her about what this guy is like and about his history.
Any advice on how she should deal with these text messages? So far she has not replied at all, but they are really irritating and she is concerned that if she does not reply that the ex wife will contact her by other means.
Is there a set response that will stop her from doing this? Obviously this needs sensible and constructive responses. Also is there anyone it can be reported to who can speak to the ex wife to discourage her?

EBearhug Thu 12-Jun-14 21:33:23

If they're divorcing, presumably they both have solicitors involved? I'd ask him to ask his solicitor to ask her solicitor to tell her to stop and to be very clear that there has been absolutely no adultery.

Has she kept all the texts? I'd block her number, and if she does try contact through other means, I think I might contact the police (in which case having all the texts will be useful.)

But there might be other ways of dealing with it better.

wafflyversatile Thu 12-Jun-14 21:40:02

through solicitors, as said.

alternatively send a text like:

Do not contact me by text or any other method again. Any further contact will be considered harassment and legal action will be taken.

Or just keep ignoring. Or speak to police on 101, or whatever the number is, for advice.

wheresthelight Fri 13-Jun-14 07:49:16

My stbxh had a similar issue, he constant accused my of adultery and then instructed his solicitor to start divorce on those grounds...I refused to agree to any of it and he is now sat with a huge solicitors bill and no way of paying it! I also hadn't had an affair

I second the solicitors to instruct her to bugger off and speak to 101 as a backup so that there is am official legal record of the harassment.

Save all the messages and get them backed up, if she has an android phone there are several apps that will back them up to her Google email account


lottie89 Fri 13-Jun-14 07:59:20

Thanks for the advice so far.
Overnight she has sent another text threatening to go to my sisters house and knock on the door if she does not reply.
Does that change anything in terms of the advice so far IYO?

wheresthelight Fri 13-Jun-14 08:42:50

Yes ring 101 and report it!!!!

wafflyversatile Fri 13-Jun-14 08:49:11

101. Hopefully they will go round and warn her off.

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