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Should I ask my STBXH for half the cost of what he took with him?

(3 Posts)
Doughnut123 Thu 20-Mar-14 15:13:22

Hi, I am going through a divorce. I have a query. When my husband left
( it was me who made the decision to end the relationship) to move into a nearby flat, he took a sofa, the TV our double bed, amongst other things.
I have had to buy another TV and bed.
My question is, should he pay half the cost of these items? I have a friend who is also going through a divorce and she said that he should pay half.
Also, our house is up for sale. I really don't want to move , mostly because of the upheaval for our children. I haven't told him this. Initially, I did want to move, but now I feel that everything is happening too quickly.
I haven't found anywhere to buy anyway.
I feel that we all need time to let the dust settle.
He can't make me move can he?
He is a high earner. My solicitor said that even if we don't sell the house, he will still have about 90k in cash to spend on buying a house.
He pleads poverty, but I don't have any sympathy for him!
Also, he hasn't made much effort to see the children since moving out.Two weeks ago, he had one of my children to stay ( the other 2 didn't want to go) and he said that he would bring her back on the Sunday morning-not early, so that HE could go cycling!
He turned up with her at 8.45 am! She's 11, likes a lie in at the weekend. He was totally putting himself first.
Then, last week, he asked if he could pop over on a week night to see them. I said yes that would be fine. I want him to see them as much as possible. He came over at about 7.30. I had to take something round to a friend, so said I would pop out while he was there. He said he couldn't be long- he hadn't eaten. Stupidly, I gave him the remains of our dinner, thinking that it would make him stay longer.
I left just before 8 to see my friend and had a quick cup of tea with her.
I was back by 9.15. When I came in, my daughter was anxious, she said 'you've been a long time Mummy.'
I thought, why is she worried, her dad's here. Then I realised that he wasn't. He'd gone home about 30 minutes before. He hadn't rung or texted me to say he had to go. I wasn't using him as a babysitter, I thought he wanted to spend some time with his children. My children are aged 14 to 11, so, although they're older, I don't like them to be on their own in the evening.
I haven't talked to him about this, but I'm furious with him.
He seems to be punishing me and them, for the situation.
Please advise me on the best action to take. Many thanks.

JaneinReading Thu 20-Mar-14 15:45:00

I would put the cost of those items to one sid eand concentrate on the big issues. So you want to keep the house. Is the equity in it about 50% of your joint assets less debts or more?Does he earn more than you? Are you going for a clean break or regular maintenance for you (or for him if he earns less than you do)?

kilmuir Thu 20-Mar-14 15:46:46

Are you going to give him half for stuff you kept?

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