I have no fears about single, other than the possibility of DH being an arse and making the separation process convoluted/difficult. I have some financial concerns but am confident these could be sorted. I think I would cope perfectly well without DH (he is often abroad for long stretches anyway so we are used to being without him). I do all the DIY and practical stuff anyway. In fact I find the idea of being alone liberating and even exciting.
What I worry about is making it real for the children (older ones, 13 and 8). For example how/when to tell them.
When I think it about it from their point of view I can see nothing good. I can't be honest with them about the reason for the split so what to tell them? I am just so worried they will be traumatised/go off the rails/hate me!
Also the two homes thing, how does this work? Do they have two duplicate homes or do they carry belongings back and forth? We seem to have enough trouble managing the logistics of homework and school uniform and after school clubs as it is. What happens with holidays - do you allow your ex's to take them abroad on holiday for example. Can you stop them if they want to? Can they stop you?!
I don't know anyone who shares custody of their children so have no idea how it can be made to work. Ours is not an amicable situation - DH can be very manipulative and I feel sure he would make out it was all my fault even though it is not.
I have read books on divorce but none seem to cover the practicalities of it, only the process of divorcing.
I would love any advice on how to cope with all of this. Thanks.
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Divorce/separation
How do you cope with the actual realities of being divorced?
8 replies
amypondsbestmate · 18/03/2014 15:48
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