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Mortgage as newly single parent - help please

(11 Posts)
Notnastypasty Mon 24-Feb-14 22:16:16

My DH walked out just over a month ago - we only moved to this house and took on a bigger mortgage a year ago. At the moment he is paying the mortgage but in a years time our fixed term will come to an end and I'm concerned.

I know I could just about pay the mortgage on my own (we have a 5 year old dd) but it would be a struggle. However, my problem will be getting a mortgage alone, I've looked into it and it seems impossible.

Does anyone know if most mortgage lenders would let me switch to interest only for a year or two while I got back on my feet? Or let me put my mums name on the mortgage to replace his? She's a pensioner.

Feel like I'm drowning so any advice would be appreciated.

Minime85 Mon 24-Feb-14 23:02:04

the best thing to do is ring and ask mortgage companies. I know it costs around £700 to have someone taken off the mortgage as I discovered its going to cost me last week! go to the CAB too and ask their advice.

allhappynow Mon 24-Feb-14 23:35:36

I was looking for a new mortgage 2yrs ago and found it best to sit down with a mortgage adviser (who only charged if I took up the mortgage-about £250,if I remember correctly).They also got a better deal than when I'd enquired myself.I've been self employed for years,but had a dip in earnings due to being on maternity,when they want 3yrs accounts etc.I didn't want to apply for anything that I didn't stand a chance of getting in case it affected my credit rating.At the time,the Halifax were the only lenders that would take into account my earnings,tax credits and maintenance payments (don't get any maintenance now and he's not interested in seeing the kids but that's another story!)I'm not sure how it works with taking your ex off the mortgage,but if your own earnings will support the mortgage,I'd have thought it was a fairly common procedure but will cost something.A lot can happen in a year,but it gives you time to get some stuff in order.Hope that helps a bit! x

Notnastypasty Tue 25-Feb-14 11:05:29

Thanks for the replies. I know I can just about afford the mortgage but the mortgage lenders aren't willing to give me the amount I need. With the mortgage I could get and any equity from the house I couldn't even afford a one bed flat.

I have already applied for single person discount on the council tax. As far as I know my ex has to stay on the mortgage as I can't be the sole name (due to earnings) but I know eventually he'll want to be taken off. Is there anyway he can do this? I won't get another mortgage so would prefer him to stay on there even if I pay it all!

Notnastypasty Tue 25-Feb-14 11:06:57

Allhappynow - I think seeing a mortgage advisor is the best bet, thanks for the advice.

Sasquatch75 Tue 25-Feb-14 19:49:10

Hi, I'm currently going through the same. Seen a solicitor to start divorce proceedings and she said the only way my h can take his name off the mortgage (I'm a sahm and have 3 kids, youngest is 2) is by forcing a sale. A judge would put the children first and my solicitor says it's highly unlikely they would make us sell the house. So my h will have to stay on the mortgage until either I remarry, cohabit or youngest child turns 18.

As a result, h is currently signing up to another fixed rate mortgage with me. smile

allhappynow Tue 25-Feb-14 21:30:07

Have you taken into account all your earnings- maintenance,tax credits,child benefit even?I know it's early days,but have you managed to arrange child maintenance?If he's the higher earner,his maintenance payment could be quite significant and should take precedent over his current mortgage contribution which would then be taken into account for your own mortgage application.Does that make sense?!If you were able to get something regular in place,lenders should take that into account.If your situation is amicable at present,it gives you some time.There's an online CSA calculator which gives some idea altho' it can be set up privately.For me personally,I felt that when my ex left I needed to make my own home my own to avoid anymore nasty surprises and was very glad I did as the situation deteriorated over time.He now pays absolutely nothing and doesn't bother to see them,but me and the kids are fine.It's hard at times but we really do do ok!Are you in a pricey area-is moving to another an option?Change of job / increase in hours etc?Let us know how you get on x

Notnastypasty Wed 26-Feb-14 09:40:33

Sasquatch - that is so good to hear! I'm really hoping that's what happens with us, thanks so much for the info.

Notnastypasty Wed 26-Feb-14 09:46:05

Allhappynow - sorry to hear that's how things have turned out for you. It beggars belief that a man can just walk away from his responsibilities like that. It's all amicable at the moment but I've seen what XH is capable of so won't breathe easy just yet!

I've looked into all the different options and it looks a but hopeless at the moment but if he will have to stay named on the mortgage that would really help the situation.

I wouldn't have to rely on him to pay the mortgage, just child maintenance which would be about £450 a month (the equivalent of half the mortgage). Doesn't seem that much to me as he's on 50k but that's what the calculator says, does that sound right?

allhappynow Wed 26-Feb-14 22:32:50

That does sound about right for 1 child.

As a bit of a hardened cynic now,being 4yrs down the line(kids now 5+8)it's changed from the amicable 'bubble' of future coparenting,finances etc.In time people get new lives and that influences the arrangements you thought you had.There's too many scenarios-eg new partners,more children,loss of job,general resentment etc-that makes it all a bit precarious.The visits and maintenance start to get erratic,jobs change.I'd urge anyone in a similar situation to get as much legal advice early on (free,if poss)and to make your finances official whilst you're being civil with a consent order etc.I then did the divorce online and was all sorted for £600 inc,court fees.

Just because he's on the mortgage,doesn't mean he'll carry on paying it.He could lose his job,go bankrupt,hide income,then start again in a few years.X left his job rather than pay csa and has ducked and dived ever since.Probably quite extreme, and I don't want to cast doom and gloom,but I wouldn't want our home affected by his actions so leave nothing to chance.

I just looked at the worst case scenario and made sure I could fully support us (which meant moving somewhere smaller,being thrifty and then extra work to cover the lack of csa) .and if we should ever receive any,view it as bonus.
It does all feel hopeless initially,but can be done!

Sasquatch75 Thu 27-Feb-14 18:16:40

Even though my ex is on the mortgage, he pays nothing towards it. I pay it all and have done since he left last august, out of child maintenance and benefits. Currently going through divorce and am going to ask to have it in writing that when the time comes to take his name off the mortgage, he gets nothing. There's no equity for him currently anyway, and I'm not having him cash in later on when I'VE been paying the mortgage off! Am hoping to get him off the mortgage in 2 or 3 years time when I'm back at work.

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