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Divorce - procrastinating partner, any suggestions?

(10 Posts)
bobs Thu 21-Nov-13 10:29:35

So we're getting divorced. Marriage has broken down for years. H, besides trying to say we've only been separated for 2-3 yrs because he has his eyes on my mother's estate who died 2010 (I don't have it yet), is procrastinating as much as possible - well he always did so why should anything be any different now!!! We are still living in the same house but he has been in the spare room since 2008. So we're going for the 2 year separation thing.
He has taken one month to get his finances details to his solicitor, and is now procrastinating over signing the forms from the conveyancing solicitor as we've agreed an offer on our house. I have had to pay the EPC (£106)and he is refusing to pay the initial conveyancing fees (£70). so can I send the conveyancing forms to his divorce solicitor to ok them and send to him to sign? He is giving as his excuse that his divorce solicitor hasn't told him he can sign them yet (don't think he's asked him).
Ditto with the statement of arrangements for children (2 daughters, 1 over 18 and the other 16 so a no-brainer as they can't wait to see the back of him). I think it's just a control thing but we are in a chain of 4 houses and I will soon be fending off phone calls. I will also suggest giving his number instead of mine.
Any suggestions on moving on a reluctant partner gratefully received

bobs Thu 21-Nov-13 20:25:06


bobs Thu 21-Nov-13 21:16:48


bobs Thu 21-Nov-13 21:54:00


Collaborate Fri 22-Nov-13 08:55:30

There's nothing you can do to force a sale without a court order. You need to get on to your solicitor pronto and have them write to his solicitors saying you'll hold him responsible if his prevarication loses your buyer and you end up selling the property for less.
Also issue an application for a financial order (I'm assuming the petition has been issued). It doesn't mean you have to fight over the finances, but it will stop him delaying things and bring him to the table.

bobs Fri 22-Nov-13 23:50:35

Thanks for that Collaborate. He has procrastinated since we started the process in August but totally denies he is doing so and blames everyone else - a sign of someone who is passive aggressive i believe.
I have sent off the Statement of Arrangements for Children, gave my solicitor all my finance details at my first meeting (since updated) and have agreed the divorce petition with my solicitor - that took well over a month as I couldn't get a date of separation out of him but we are going for a 2 yr separation with a note from me that he has been in a separate bedroom since 2008 etc.
It all started off amicably enough with us both agreeing to keep our own assets (mine are all inherited from pre, during and still to be due to my mother passing away in 2010) but now of course he has his eyes on more. Considering he has a well paid job compared to my less well paid part time job, and our assets as they stand now are fairly similar, I rather hope he can't claim my future inheritance when my mum's house is sold.
Anyway my solicitor has agreed that i send him the conveyancing documents, to send to his solicitor, to send to him - all a massive waste of time and money - he says he doesn't care angry I have already paid £1500 in fees just for standing still!!! I just wish there was some way of not having to pay for his time-wasting, but i will keep that point in mind about holding him responsible. Cheers

Collaborate Sat 23-Nov-13 08:52:47

Remember that if your petition is based on 2 yrs separation he can always refuse his consent. Consider changing it to unreasonable behaviour .

bobs Sat 23-Nov-13 18:45:14

I gather he has no problem with the 2 yr separation (his solicitor has written a letter stating this) but does with 5 yrs (probably because Mum died 3 yrs ago). If he were to contend the 2 yrs separation I would have no problem going straight to unreasonable behaviour - however it would't get me any different a settlement and just cause more aggro. Silly silly me thought we would just keep our own assets, split the house and I would move on with my ddd - hahaha how naive!

assis104s Sun 24-Nov-13 16:26:21

Thanks for the advice...I'm in a similar position myself. However Ex refusing to tell about income - he's freelancing and refusing to declare to me or hmrc! Mediation has broken down. How does the application work if he's freelancing but not declaring? Bobs hope you don't mind me asking on your thread.

bobs Sun 24-Nov-13 17:12:01

Not at all assis104s! From what I've learnt it's really difficult to get an idea of income out of someone who's self-employed...However you can ask your solicitor to ask his for bank statements over a period of time and there's usually a paper trail. I would be picking a start date for that from before the marriage broke down. I know, for example that my OH had twice the amount of money in his account in 2011 as he's declaring now, and also he had another paid-up pension. However I want to see how things pan out on what he has declared so far before requesting details of those as it would take a long....long...time to get those details.
I'm sure he will have had to declare something to HMRC...does he have any details of work done lying around?

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