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I need some help please

(5 Posts)
jasss88 Wed 23-Oct-13 13:21:38

I have been separated from my h since 5 October 2011. Living apart aswell. I did start the divorce process last year however due to financial problems could not pay the solicitor. I went to see my solicitor yesterday and he advised me that my h had called him to tell him he was not prepared to sign amicably on the 2 year separation basis. I am concerned that he is up to something. What i mean is the marital home is in joint names, he has quite alot of shares in a company and he recently sold a property. I need some advice about the financial side, what types of experiences people have had when it come down to the figures.

The reason i left him was because he was violent towards me.

MatchsticksForMyEyes Wed 23-Oct-13 17:53:55

Can't you cite unreasonable behaviour? Even of he contests it, if the judge takes it on board the divorce will progress.
The way we did it wrt finances was he proposed a settlement, which I agreed with and the Consent Order was approved by the court.
You are probably not advised to do mediation because there is history of abuse.
However, if you apply straight to court I was advised most people would settle at or before the 2nd hearing. Your costs would be 10-12k by then though.

sharonwright Wed 23-Oct-13 18:33:14

2 year separation is easier method of divorcing as its agreed with no accusations. As that is what i went through and It does not matter whatever reason it is, the end result is a divorce. By citing unreasonable behavior what will that prove as end result is divorce again, end possibly he could contest that therefore prolonging the divorce.The finances would have to be disclosed on both parties, bank accounts, Past and Present over the period. I would suggest to save costs to have some way of agreeing the finances as things can get messy and costly. when i had a divorce I discussed with my ex directly or you can get a mediator involved which costs. Agree what is fair on the settlement and the finance clearing order settled.

MatchsticksForMyEyes Wed 23-Oct-13 18:51:02

Didn't OP say her ex won't agree to sign on the basis of 2yr separation though?

mineofuselessinformation Wed 23-Oct-13 19:04:12

Divorce him for unreasonable behaviour. You can cite the violence, even if it was never recorded. It is your viewpoint that matters.
OTOH, you could ask your solicitor to write and explain that this is the alternative if he chooses not to sign for the two year separation. IME, abusive people REALLY dislike having their behaviour brought up and will choose an easier path.

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