Financial agreement

[makeminemango]

I am in the midst of a hellish divorce, complicated by the fact that we are still living under the same roof. We have 2 kids aged 3&5. Mediation is stalling as we try to work out finances. My STBXH states that 50:50 is not a reasonable starting point, mainly because he does not think I should touch anything he had from before our marriage. We have been married for 6 years. With no joint account, he has more savings & investments than me (times 4) but we have a joint mortgage with some equity. I am trying to find a way to support my kids but I feel he is trying to bully me. It's hell & it's a mess & any advice would be appreciated.

[cjel]

give up on mediation and go for full financial discloser through divorce, if its messy in mediation you should just get solicitors to sort it out for you. It doesn't matter what he thinks is fair he has a duty to value your role in allowing him to earn if he won't then step out and let the law do it. Don't be bullied. My solicitor was brilliant at taking the wind out of exs sales.

[Collaborate]

Fair sharing is one approach, but needs are also important (more so), as are contributions past present and future.
You need to get some proper advice. Check the Resolution website.

[mrsravelstein]

it's been 8 years since i got divorced, but none of the solicitors ever suggested a 50/50 starting point - the starting point was how much would it cost to provide a reasonable home & standard of living for our child. it may have changed since then though?

[cjel]

I was told 50/50 starting point, but we had plenty and no dependants, It then went up or down depending on potential future earnings, share of pension, value of company shares and equity in properties. I took less than advised because it was a good sum and saved years of haggling through courts!!