My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for 11. We have 2 sons (6 & 5).
We are from Canada. We moved to the UK in 2003 so my husband could complete a Master's in Underwater Archaeology (his dream). I worked full time to put him through this degree. Then his dream changed and we relocated to Exeter so he could do a PGCE there. I left my job and had to temp at the Univeristy to put him through school. Then he got a good job and I found a career and we bought a house in Devon. We had 2 kids. Things were good for a while then he was made redundant from his teaching job and started temping. Days would pass without work and he fell into depression. He used to take naps in the middle of the day, sleep in and be a completely horrible person to be with. I had to keep the family ship afloat and took on everything to keep things positive for the kids. I worked through this whole period and was the sole bread winner for some time. Our relationship soured. We went to Relate. It was a horrible period.
Then, in a bid to get some work last year he applied for a job in the ME (withouth telling me). He got the job, told me about it and basically I just had to get over it and move on with things. So I have just spent a year as a single mother while he works away and sends cash back. I do EVERYTHING (even more than the everything of before) and work FT as well.
He is quitting and coming home in 3 weeks as this being away has not worked for the family. Well, I thought he was coming home but I have found out that AGAIN, he has lined up work in London behind my back. The kids are desperate to live with their father. He says he will only be in London a day a week (or maybe 2 or so). I am so done with this. He needs to be HERE with us ALL THE TIME. I have spent the last year on my own so I know I can do it on my own if I need to.
I do also need to say that his new career path is to become a business analyst in the city. He has no background in this and is quite the hippy actually but wants to do this to get cash. That is the motive. Not a love of it. He tells me that I should support his dreams. As far as I see it, i HAVE supported every dream he has had to this point, every whim to take on another course or relocate and I quit my job.
What should I do here? Separation in the hopes he finally starts to listen? Divorce?
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Divorce/separation
Advice on how to get him to wake up?
5 replies
pigloo22 · 14/06/2013 13:23
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