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Could I have some advice please?

(3 Posts)
Autumn12 Tue 09-Apr-13 10:29:13

I'm not totally sure this is the right section but I wasn't sure where else to post.

It looks as though my mother is splitting up from her husband. It seems that there is another woman involved although I don't think she is planning to be leave her own family to be with my mums husband. He is adamant he won't try to sort things out.

I have a much younger sibling who is about to do GCSE's so the timing is awful. Sibling is currently with me but can't stay long term as we live too far away from school etc.

I don't really know what advice to give my mum other than to contact CAB. They live in council accommodation and I don't think the husband is likely to be offered another property. Both are low wage earners so renting privately is probably not an option. I know that my mum does not earn enough alone to pay the rent and bills although she works full time.

Can anybody advise what the options are or what the likely outcome would be if this had to be handled officially? I don't know whether he will leave or insist on staying in the current property. They have a joint account which she has no log in details for. I would like to think he won't screw her over but you never can tell how people will be in these situations.

Unfortunately my mother has isolated herself during this marriage and has no friends to turn to. No family either really except me and my sibling. She is not the kind of woman I can imagine coping well alone. She never really has been and very much relies on the man in her life. To the extent that she has not been concerned with knowing about the details of the joint account. She will not even pop to the local shop by herself.

I'm in a tricky position as I want to help but am concerned about getting too drawn in. It's in my nature to take too much responsibility for others and I do worry about her being alone. However I am expecting my first baby and maybe selfishly need and want to concentrate on my own family. How do I be there for her and my sibling without feeling guilty about getting on with my own life??

Autumn12 Tue 09-Apr-13 13:21:37


daffsarecomingup Tue 09-Apr-13 13:24:57

your mum is very lucky to have you in her life, Autumn
I think your idea of CAB is a good one. They will direct her in terms of financial support, and other areas.
and yes, you are right that you also have stuff that YOU need to sort out for yourself.

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