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How to tell the children your marriage is over?

(3 Posts)
goodlifemummy Thu 28-Mar-13 16:31:35

That's it really, I remember my mum telling us, I was 9. I have DTDS 8 and DS 2, DH is insistent we get professional advice on how to tell them, I honestly think there's no need and we talk to them as openly as possible and provide as much love and reassurance as possible...what to do?

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Thu 28-Mar-13 23:34:58

I'm not sure about the 8 year old, but you could google it?

My DD is 2 and I have recently separated from my husband. I told her that "mummy loves you very much and Daddy loves you very much. This is mummy and DD's house and mummy can look after DD, and feed DD and play with DD and put DD to bed, sometimes DD can go to daddy's house and daddy can look after DD, and feed DD and play with DD and put DD to bed." And then a bit later on I was playing with her and reintroduced the idea but with teddies, I basically said the same thing but talked about the baby teddy and the mummy and daddy teddies and said things like, "isn't it nice that baby teddy has two houses to play in and how lovely that the baby teddy has a mummy and a daddy who love her very much"

Oh also I read somewhere that you should never tell them that something is going to happen, but tell them when it is happening, so not next week daddy is going to move out. As it is too difficult for children to process and understand HTH

Milly22 Fri 29-Mar-13 18:26:33

Did this last weekend told DS who's 9 so he could have Easter Holidays to take it in without having to deal with school. Told our DD 12 in February and as divorce is fairly common by the time they get to secondary education, she was fine and was just relieved that mum and dad will be friends. DS took the initial shock in tears and was hurt, but when we sat down as family with DD reassuring him too it worked well and seems to be fine and has told his friends in club already. Keep talking and even if you find it difficult with your partner, bite your tongue knowing you'll move on and keep the peace and niceties for dc's sakes. They will thank you as adults!! We don't give them enough credit on how well they do cope with things. It'll be ok!

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