My STBXH had an affair and we seperated last month. I want to file for divorce and adultery seems to be the appropriate reason to give. As for proof, I have an email he wrote to me after I first found out saying they had "fucked once". I also have an email from OW to him making it very clear she spent a night in the hotel with him after we split.
Alternatively, I could cite UB on a number of issues.
My questions are:
1 Do I really have to put down dates for the adultery? This is hard enough as it is and I really don't want to know when it first happened as it's just something else to gnaw away at me. Is it sufficient that he absolutely confessed that he had (and clearly within the preceding 6 months of us seperating)?
2 Would it actually be better to use UB?? He is an alcoholic (albeit high-functioning)and I'm hoping to get a provision in the contact agreements that he doesn't drink when he has DCs, and also that 50:50 access is absolutely not on the cards until he has addressed his drinking and the children are older (currently 1 and 4). I know that divorce petitions are not the place to settle scores, but could it actually be good to get the drinking mentioned early on?
I just want to say that we are both reasonable people and I have no intention to be difficult out of anger. I will be getting legal advice as soon as I can get time off work, but I'd be grateful for any views before then.
xx
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Divorce/separation
Can I cite adultery without asking for the lurid details?
7 replies
DHtotalnob · 26/03/2013 20:29
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