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how much time would I have to be away from my son?

(5 Posts)
ct148 Tue 12-Mar-13 21:49:24

We have been married for 3yrs and have a beautiful DS, who is 18 months.
I won't go into it but We have problems- and what I really want to ask is...if we were to separate, how much time is he likely to be given with DS? Am just trying to weigh up whether I could bear it or not. Is the time that dads are given dependant upon the childs age? Would a really good lawyer be able to get him more time?
Thank you in advance x

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 12-Mar-13 22:06:20

You will be encouraged to make arrangements yourself either directly or through mediation in preference to going to court. There isn't really a "standard" any more.
What I would say is that whilst at first it does seem like your heart has been ripped out it does get easier if you keep busy. Having been up at 3am the last two mornings with DD first with a migraine and then a virus I was actually relieved she is at her Dads as I don't think I will make it through another day at work with another 3am start.
The being away from DD is actually less awful than the being together with ExH and we have a 50:50 care arrangement.

ct148 Wed 13-Mar-13 11:23:27

Thanks for taking the time to reply! How old is your DD?
Its the 50/50 thing that I'm most afraid of. I'm used to being with my DS so much that I really don't think I could handle being away from him 50% of the time. And I think he'd struggle being away from me for that long too.
Thing is, I'm pretty sure that this is what my husband would push for, and he (and his awful parents) wouldn't rest until they got it. Got some thinking to do it seems.

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 13-Mar-13 13:35:15

My DD is 9 years old. Both ExH and I work full time and I work some nights and weekends so ExH has always looked after DD around 50% of nights and weekends so there was already a precedent. Who looks after your DS now does come in to it so if you are currently the primary carer that would be taken into account.
Also my DD was very keen for 50:50.
If you are a SAHM realistically your DS should be with you most of the time. We managed to sort it out between us and my solicitor felt that this was the best thing.
I think you need some legal advice for your own situation..

Kyrptonite Wed 13-Mar-13 13:41:16

Given that he's your husbands DS as well I don't think the fact you couldn't handle being away from your DS 50:50 should come into it.

Realistically if he works full time and you're a SAHM I would imagine weekends going to every other weekend when DS starts school with a midweek contact too. That seems to be the norm with the people I know.

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