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child collection/drop-off arrangements post divorce

(7 Posts)
Canucks Thu 07-Mar-13 19:34:57


Im looking to find out what the most common arrangement is regarding collection/drop-off the kids by the non-resident parent.

My ex and I are in disagreemnt following him assaulting me and accepting a caution for it. I no longer wish to go near his house, where assault occurred, to collect (or occasionally drop off) our 2 children. Lawyer has advised me I simply have to make the children available for him to collect and drop-off when he wants to see them (fixed routine in place for this). Ex has refused so far, but has finally agreed to drop them them "down the road" but still wants me to drop them at his.

His lawyer tells me that "...most commonly one parent collects the children and other returns them." Indeed, prior to the assault, this is what we did. Should I still agree this or am I right to sitck to my guns and refuse? confused

Collaborate Thu 07-Mar-13 21:19:54

Stick to your guns. If he's assaulted you, you're entitled to say that you don't want to have any contact with him. Is there a member if his family who can collect the children?

It isn't usual that one collects and the other returns, IME.

Piemother Mon 11-Mar-13 20:25:19

Refuse. My dc are handed over in a public place where there are staff and there is CCTV. My barrister pushed for this particular location as she said the court would favour this arrangement.
You cannot be forced by a court to agree to have the dc collected from your house or his if you are uncomfortable. What they will look at is whether what you propose is reasonable and sustainable.

kittycat68 Wed 13-Mar-13 17:59:21

public place or from school etc is a reasonable request especially when violance is in the mix. a court will see this a reasonable. i used mcdonalds in a town centre as this would be friendly to the children also toilets food and drink etc. we now use school as contact has deterirated even more. my ex is not allowed to come to my house and i certainly would not agree for it to be up the road either. he could sit and wait and watch you and your children from the car if he wanted to. it is also NOT usuall for one parent to drop off and one to collect!!! do not agree to anything you are uncomfortable with op.

Canucks Tue 02-Apr-13 23:37:24

Thanks ladies! Your comments much appreciated.

TheDetective Tue 02-Apr-13 23:40:48

Nope. He picks up and drops off.

Why would it be any different?

If I was the non resident parent I would not expect him to drop them at mine or pick them up.

I'm pretty sure this is the norm.

Singledad5871 Mon 13-May-13 23:35:06

I can appreciate this - my ex left me to live with her new bf - initially I had full care if the kids then she tried to dictate when I was to have them. 2 years later after an ongoing court battle, I find my ex trying to control me through the kids (I have residency currently and she receives 2 nights overnight per month) by being obtrusive to me taking them on holidays, dictating how my girlfriend and her kids have to live their lives! When our Proof/residency battle was meant to have been finished by negotiation she waited 6 weeks before responding to offer ME a single midweek night and a Friday and Saturday! Even trying to dictate times and who gives dinner etc! The stress has started to affect my girlfriend and I's relationship as I find I started to hide things that were happening to try and not cause arguments with us. I'm attempting to remove myself from the hand overs as there is invariably conflict there -but she is being obstructive when I send my aunt? There is nothing that says I have to be present is there?

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