End of my world(9 Posts)
Hi all - looking for some early advice!
Husband of 8 years left me last week. LO is 18 months. He wants to talk next week about our next steps.
I have no idea what comes next... This is a shock to me and I can't think straight right now. Just want to have an idea if anyone has been in a similar situation (age of child etc) and what his rights might be for childcare, money etc.
We have a large family home that we will need to sell and I will probably move to my parents which is approx 1.5 hours away from him and find a new part time job/ nursery.
Any advice would be very much appreciated
I'm in the same position. This is a mutual decision. We have children 9 and 12. Don't move out until you visit CAB for free advice and see what your rights and benefits are. Get some papers together on income mortgage employment and debts etc. My world is also falling apart.
Search for posts by olgaga - she posts one frequently which contains lots of useful links to places which can advise on the practicalities.
I was there in 2005 - and although, I remember it well, it feels like the end of everything, in a year or so, maybe sooner with luck, it will be the beginning of everything. I promise.
I was due to get married a month after the split so I was v v fragile. We had 2 dc's, a huge mortgage that he left me to pay on my own with no way to keep up the payments, it was a mess. God knows how I managed it, but I did, and in 2007 I met the most amazing man who is now the most indescribably wonderful DH anyone could ask for.
But in between, I got to re-find me, I got to prove who I was, what I was worth, and what I could do - and you will amaze yourself too.
It's not easy - and when it's raw like this, it will hurt like fuck. But right now you are IN the fire. Wait for that fire to die, and you shall both rise like the fucking magnificent phoenixes you can be.
And yes, don't move a muscle without doing research, getting proper advice, planning, do LOTS of spreadsheets, calendars, keep a diary, protect your financial security like a guard-dog, and don't let anything go until you are 100% sure that it is truly fair to everyone to do so.
You don't have to sell your house, especially considering you have children. Stay put and contact a solicitor asap, a lot of them will give you a free initial consultation. So sorry you're going through this, the "this too will pass" phrase so often used on MN doesn't apply to just babies - the end of your marriage does not mean the end of your (happy) life, although it probably doesn't feel like that now.
Thanks all, and love the words Merry, so glad things worked out for you. Our little
One was ivf so it's just so heartbreaking after all we have been through together. Will def speak to citizens advice next week, need to know what options are to keep my head busy! Xxxxx
Las3097, I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know how it goes, and I could do the same when I go to CAB too. I'm at the same stage right now. I going through a very up and down stage right now, relief that we're moving on and not going to live a miserable life and just putting a face on to suit everybody else and then down because it's quite sad that our dreams didn't turn out like we expected. Good Luck.
Milly I'd love to keep in touch. (don't know how though?) had a bad day yesterday - we found out I was pregnant after the ivf on a day with soo much snow and yesterday I woke up to 6inchea of snow so was very down and on my own all day as my
Plans were cancelled. But feel more positive today, got visitors and looking forward. Think I have my head well and truly buried in the sand, but that seems to be workin for me at the moment I guess... Hope your ok. There's a great book I was reccommended when doing the ivf called the secret by Rhondda Byrne. It's quite deep but I jut scan read segmenta of it when I need a pick me up- its all about the power of positive thinking. Good reviews and you can always relate to things it says xxx
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