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Seperated,advice needed on pension & divorce

(3 Posts)
ajatuk Fri 26-Oct-12 09:32:41

pls bear with me, longish story. Together 10yrs, married 7, i have two kids from previous now aged 12&16, we have 3 yr old between us. hubby was in army when i met him and i gave up teaching career to move every two yrs, my kids moved from school to school. my son started to play up at 13, police involved etc, him & hubby never really got on. April this year (son now 16) hubby gives me ultimatum, son or him, i chose son and hubby moved out (will add at this point i had tried other alternatives with son, ie sending him to live with my mum for 6 months, then boarding school for a year to try and improve behaviour & situation as i was piggy in middle) Hubby moves out April this year. Had chat not long after as i wanted to hold family together for youngest daughters sake, suggested living apart etc, hubby wasnt interested. He left army in october after 22 yrs and moved into his own flat an hour away. always sworn blind he doesnt want anyone else, just wants to spend time with his kids. recently found secret email account of his, where i found out hed been on zoosk sice august, been chatting to a lady (and still is) about me, saying im a stalker (?) talking about our 3 yr old in familiar terms...yet still telling me he doesnt want to date etc. i also found him on other unsavoury sex websites! up to this point we had agreed that when he gets his lump sum in december £56K he would give me £15k, i was ok with this though still thought after ten yrs and a child & my career on hold it was a bit measly..however after finding this new info out - and that he recently got £3k from somewhere and didnt offer me a penny despite me being so skint now as i had to give up my job and go onto benefits when he left - i contacted a solicitor on wikivorce. he told me to get divorce ball rolling asap if theres no chance of reconciliation - which there isnt - as once he gets his lump sum unless proceedings are in place he can spend it as he wishes and i wont get anything further down line once its spent. he also told me £15k is a joke and most judges now look at mother & child especially in military families where woman has given up her career and usually favour 70/30 for mother...before i found out he was bear faced liar i was ok with £15k despite my lack of money but now i want what im entitled to. Has anyone had similar experience or can help legally? thanks in advance

Collaborate Fri 26-Oct-12 09:46:48

Not so sure about the 70/30 split, but the starting off point should be 50/50. I agree £15k of the lump sum doesn't sound like a fair share.

ajatuk Fri 26-Oct-12 18:25:31

Thanks for reply - I thought 50/50 was fair as he will be getting an additional £750 per month pension plus he's going into a high profile job - something I can't begin to think about until my daughter is at school as I can't afford childcare sad

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