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Wife no longer loves me

(4 Posts)
Lostdad31 Wed 17-Oct-12 22:35:01

My wife and I have been married for 2 years, and together for 5. We have 2 amazing little ones, a little girl who's almost 2 and a half, and our little man who's coming up to 8 months. We have the perfect family...or so I thought.

She recently told me she's become confused, and has lost something. She said she doesn't love me anymore. She's adamant it's nothing I've done, she told me I'm the perfect husband and the perfect father but her feelings have just changed. I was completely devastated! If it wasn't for the kids she would already have left, but she said she'll give it some time for their sakes. I was obviously very confused and subsequently looked at her phone - I know I shouldn't of but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. There were texts on their between my wife and someone from her work, very flirty messages about her picturing him in the shower, and wanting to meet up etc. Needless to say I was broken. Our relationship has always been perfect, and I never thought she could betray and hurt me this way. She says nothing has happened, and it's just flirting, which she realises she shouldn't have done and is really sorry for. Apparently it's a sympton not the cause.

But now I'm just lost. I'm constantly on the verge of tears, and I look at the kids and imagine our perfect family being broken up and it kills me.

I've told her I will do anything I can to make it work, I still love her so very much I ache. Everytime I think of her flirting with this other man it feels like a stab through my heart, but I've convinced myself that if I can reawaken her feelings and feel loved again then I can trust her again. Am I deluding myself? Part of me feels like she's already made her decision and this period of giving it some time is to allay her guilt.

Help me!

Fairyjen Thu 18-Oct-12 09:32:38

Oh lostdad sorry your going through this. Generally I would say if it's over then there is not much you can do. Plus do you not think maybe you deserve better, imagine the reaction you would get if you had been textin another woman.

Any chance she could have PND? Chin up xxx

livinglife Thu 18-Oct-12 15:38:16

I'm so sorry. It's tough. Children don't bring couples closer together they make things harder. My advice would be don't push things, do you have a date night? Where its just the two of you no children? It's important to remember who you were before children. I often feel I have lost my identity and if someone was " flirting with me" it would make me feel like me again rather than just a mum, cleaner and wife. It doesn't mean something has happened. Talk it through with her... Ask her why she thinks things have gone wrong. Good luck

Mum2Fergus Sat 20-Oct-12 18:40:44

Sorry for your situation LostDad...Ive no real advice however think you'll get more support if you post in 'Relationships'.

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