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custody question

(5 Posts)
chriskathome Wed 10-Oct-12 23:49:29

Hello, my wife and I are likely to split and we want to make sure we do the best for our son (age 6).
We both love him madly and will share custody but what does that mean and how does the sharing work in the best interests of our boy.
Advice please

NewNames Thu 11-Oct-12 00:02:55

My advice would be to skip the lawyer bollocks and sort it out between yourselves, using a friend as a mediator if necessary to give a more objective view.

Sounds like you get on so that's a good start smile

You can draw up a contract between yourselves.

Collaborate Thu 11-Oct-12 10:02:00

You don't need a solicitor to decide what's best for your children, particularly if you both agree on everything, but I'd suggest a neutral mediator rather than a friend who may well become a former friend for one of you.

You would need legal advice if you can't work things out for yourselves, and need to know what a court would do if it was asked to set the arrangements, either child related or financial. For that, loow on the www.resolution.org.uk website for a solicitor near you.

crackcrackcrak Fri 12-Oct-12 06:45:40

Custody no longer exists. Only parental responsibility which you already share as you (I assume) were married at the time of your ds birth.
It sounds quite amicable which is great. I would suggest you both draw up a proposal for contact - as in where ds will live and how contact will be arranged etc. I also suggest drawing up a list of rights and responsibilities for things like who is responsible for getting his hair cut/dentist - practical things like that. If you make these lists and they come out v similar and you agree on most things it's unlikely you need formal intervention smile and you can just work it out as you go along. If you fundamentally disagree on a lot then you might need some neutral help as others have suggested.

Collaborate Fri 12-Oct-12 08:04:00

I agree with crackx3. Terminology is changing though. It's a bit emotive to talk about who gets residence, as if it's a prize. Just concentrate on the arrangements for the children.

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