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Hardest decision I've ever made

(2 Posts)
bml12 Mon 08-Oct-12 14:50:06

Hi this is my first time on here. After 18yrs marriage and 17 and 12 yr old children we (well me really) have decided to go our separate ways.

We are having to live together in the house until we sell it which is horrendous (still sleeping in same bed) but are trying to be as amicable as poss for the kids

Children have both taken it really badly esp having to move house and I feel wracked with guilt for what they are going through but the arguments were just too much and I feel it was damaging the children. Every holiday/day out/family gathering was marred. He also talks to me like I'm stupid all the time.

I work full time but on a low income - he is on about 4x more than me - does this mean I can have more than half the equity in the house as I wont be able to get a big mortgage? Also when do I start looking at what benefits I am entitled to? My head is all over the place at minute as not eating or sleeping - makes me feel better knowing I am not the only one going through this awful time - just don't know what the next step is???

olympicvibes Tue 09-Oct-12 14:10:49

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time in your life and feel so guilty for the children. You have obviously had as much thinking time as possible and if you are sure you can't continue with the marriage, do you have support network of family/friends you can talk to to help you through this?

Try to tackle not eating or sleeping. Surely sharing a bed still is too much if you do have to share the house. What about a sofa or zed bed even- better than sharing if you have decided to divorce?? Just wondering how it can help when you are trying your best to stay amicable.
With your stomach in knots, try to eat small amounts of food-half a banana is better than nothing. You could try herbal sleep remedies or lavendar on your pillow. Or speak to a pharmacist or your doctor if you really aren't sleeping.

Citizens Advice offer free advice and there is a lot of support online. Do you have a solicitor? I have no idea about your rights or difference in salaries. How has your husband taken your decision? If you can stay amicable for the children, that says a lot.

Talk to your children as much as you can-they both still need you-they may be feeling guilty too. One step at a time. Sorry if none of this sounds helpful.

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