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husband left me for his ex girlfriend

(35 Posts)
Labisiffree Mon 01-Oct-12 22:04:29

We have been married 12 years, 2 sons, not perfect but i thought at least we plodded on. He was funny for a few weeks, very quiet and disengaged, then told me hed been having an affair, not a sexual one at that point ( he said).

He then left! I am on my own with my two DS, 10 and 11. I have lots of good friends but I feel so numb. I was so calm about him going, he is now living with her( shes left her husband) and although I am angry with him, I am strangely calm. Why?, and when am I going to fall apart?

coybiatch Tue 23-Oct-12 23:28:55

A few days ago, two days after our 6th anniversary, I was shocked to find that my husband had "married" another woman. How? Well, there were pictures online of the wedding ceremony (google, facebook, photographer). Whether or not there was a marriage license is unknown to me right now except for the fact that he IS still legally married to me. Although many small things never did add up, I NEVER expected THIS. I found this last Thursday AT WORK, while I was looking up legitimate business online that involved the two of them, looking for a reference to something. At first, I felt numb and panicked. I feel disbelief and "how could he throw everything away". Mornings are the worst, when I first wake up and remember what has happened. Knowing that I know, he has the good sense not to come home from his last "business" trip. He completely denies having an affair, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. I agree that doing normal things is helpful.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Tue 23-Oct-12 23:37:27

blimey, coy, that is despicable of him

I hope you are reporting him to the police

Kis2013 Mon 01-Apr-13 17:01:07

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

kinkyfuckery Mon 01-Apr-13 17:06:15

Kis2013 You would be better to start your own thread, possibly in the Relationships topic.

In fact, no I just read it and am reporting your post for spam. Have a lovely day grin

Icangetthruthis Sat 06-Jul-13 16:16:44

Wow, it is amazing to read this thread, I guess after going thru something like this one feels alone in the world... It helps to know other women are strong and surviving!

After 19 years together and 2 kids, I found my hisband having an affair with his old, first love. We are separated now and I am doing pretty well, like the one post above there is a big element of relief since he has always been a demanding jerk and hard to be around. He acted as if the decision to separate was mine to make, at least when he was being nice. But I think he knew I would leave and he seems more relieved than anything. Even though I know I am making the right decision it hurts so badly that he is accepting it and not fighting in any way to keep me!!!

This thread is so old- so here is my question for you ladies- how are you NOW? It has only been 5 weeks since I found out- how can I stop the endless, repetitive, hurtful thoughts swirling in my brain? I know logically that my life is going to be fine, easier even, and I'll meet someone else, etc. But I still can't sleep for thinking the same things over, and over, and over..... Any suggestions??

sweetpetite Mon 27-Jan-14 14:32:00

Thought I would update this thread, and let you know as the OP, that things have improved dramatically, and it probably took me 6 months of up and down to properly feel happy and strong again.

I did lots of internet dating which was not successful in terms of finding me a mate, but it helped me realise there are lots of nice men out there and I deserved better.

In September 2013 I met an old school friend for the first time in 25 years (!) at a reunion, we've been together ever since, and he is wonderful, respectful, funny, gentle and kind. There were times I felt I'd be on my own forever, there were times I wanted to be! I learned to be happy alone, and that's the key I think.
Divorce proceedings are going through slowly, he's still with the exgf and she's having a baby next month.... another thing to think about.
I'll think about that when it happens though...

Frikadellen Tue 28-Jan-14 12:01:09

Thank you for updating I often wonder what happens to people.

I am happy to hear your life is moving on and you have someone good in your life smile

meeks01 Tue 29-Sep-15 00:20:08

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Alicerennei123 Fri 12-Feb-16 20:29:31

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dilys4trevor Sun 14-Feb-16 11:01:54

I just posted in Relationships asking about love after a shit experience. Mine is very recent and involved a death as well as discovery of an affair (suicide after being caught out - thanks for that!) but it cheers me SO much to hear that the OP is happy again. What about the other people on here?

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