Separated March 11 and decree nisi came through June 11 - unreasonable behaviour on his part. Since then we tried mediation which failed because when we almost had a deal ex found a reason not to stay just an extra half hour to get it sorted. So I had to resort to a sol and in the year since then I have lost count of the number of draft consent orders she has sent to ex which he finds fault with, linguistic issues, matters of principle - you name it he has found a reason each time to send it back with a lengthy letter pointing out all my sols 'inadequacies' (he is a narc btw). So our house sale completed today and the equity is held with the sol partly on my instruction because if he gets his hands on his share now, I will never get the pension share he has reluctantly agreed to, never mind the child maintenance he has to pay. And actually it's fair in my mind that neither of us get the equity until the consent order is at court.
BUT I am paying a lot of money and we haven't been near a court yet - £6000 so far. He represents himself and knows that it costs me a lot to keep this going but I am at the point where I am thinking I will have to go the full way. If I did would I have to shoulder all the costs? I earn half what he does btw and I have our DD living with me.
If you have evidence of an agreement then you can put it before the court and ask that the usual process be truncated. Also for your ex not to proceed with turning the agreement in to an order may give rise to an unusual claim for costs. It only costs £240 to apply to court. Given you've paid £6k so far, I'd bite the bullet. There's a good chance it might prompt your ex to agree to something then.
Thank you Collaborate. I don't know if you will see my response and be able to comment further but yes, my sol has all of the written proposals and letters from my ex dating right back to before I instructed her.
That's what feels crazy. I have agreed to what he has asked for and he has agreed to what I asked for (i.e division of house proceeds, child maintenance paid direct, costs of education for DD, spousal maintenance and the terms of it's payment etc etc etc ad nauseum).
I went down the Consent Order route because ex agreed to this in exchange for not disclosing his financial status (a year ago) and because he repeatedly failed to send his financial status forms back to my sol!!!!!!
I am seeing my sol this week for a "where do I go from here" discussion. Thanks again Collaborate.