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unreasonable

(6 Posts)
Nickinoo76 Tue 19-Jul-11 13:22:14

I have been married for 4 years and i suppose it wasn't good from the off i have 2 children to a previous relationship 14 and 10 he fooled everyone, my friends and family all thought he was what i needed as i had recently lost my father and been a single mum for years then thinings changed he started monitoring where i went making it difficult to go socialising with friends not even letting go to my mums unless it suited him ( when we were skint!) he had apparently been made redundant when i met him and he had a bit of money , so after the big gustures and flashing the cash it soon dwindled away we. He forced me to move 3 times in one year as he would run up bills then argue with me that there was no money and then force the issue got money off his mum by lying, and moved.Ii was working full time as i always have but as he was home he was making it impossible to go to work , constantly phoning me getting angry when i was busy ,even turning up at work to argue and embarress me at work then refuse to collect the children, he has gripped my eldest for phoning her antie after she caught a awful fight between us and he pinned her up against a wall. While all this was going on i was forced to contiue claiming as a single mum because he couldn't face a job as everything was benith him as he was a salesman in the housing industry he had job for a short while but couldn't hack it and either went off sick to keep tabs on me or amazing got made redundant and it was down to me to provide but he hated me working so it was constant rows, he borrowed thousads off his elderly mum and disabled sister lying about what he wanted it for and expected me to do the same with my mum in the end i decided to move to Cornwall for a new start he promised to see a shrink and sort himself out he got job on the taxi's and i got a job in a cafe, but still forced me to claime as a single mum saying he was going to throw the kids out when they are 15 and they can only be in the house when he wasn't these kids where in a new school agiain a new village and couldn't have friends over or staying incase people saw what he was realy like. His job on the taxi's was partime so he could be home i was working ptime and still claiming as he kept threating me with the kids and violence and ended up ailenating friends and family as he didn't want them staying i was bruised and warn out and burnt out trying to keep everyrthing together every job ive had since i met him he has messed up for me he even has phone records of when i am due on every month as he wanted a baby since he met me i feel like i have been targetted i am young enought o contiue having kids and had a ready made family but when he got it he hated it and used my kids against me to stop me doing anything . I now have a 8 month old boy to him basicaly forced as i had given up on him years before but aparently its my wifley duty and it was going to happen anyway and he is even worse now he has no interest in my other children and he is horrible to them and all he wants is "his boy" he has screamed in my face spat at me tried to knock me over so i would hand over the baby won't divorce me and want's to keep me prisioner at home doing my job bringing up his boy even told my eldest now she has a sat job to cough up as were skint ...... we are skint because he wont stop smoking he is on 200 a week always has to have petrol in his car , my car carn't have petrol as i don't need to go anywere he takes me shopping he won't leave me alone unless it suits him ( watching sport ) he kicked off at me pushing and shoving me and screaming at me while i had hold of my baby on Sun because i asked him to put some cartoons on for the baby but that interfered with the 7 hours of golf that was on ......he has even blamed me for losing his last job for stealing fags as i did not have the money to give him..... i saw my oppertunity yesterday to leave as he took the dogs out for a run i had 20 mins to pack my car and 2 of my kids my eldest has stayed eleswere for exams he is now threatening to blow me up for claiming and i have 24 hours to return his son whom for the record he does nothing with because i make him feel inadiquate because i can do everything and he carn't .... so i have left my house that is in my name and he is being horrid im staying at a mates house and i want to go home but he wont go saying he has been living with me prove i haven't i am soooo stuck can anyone advise i am at the end of my rope.......coppers have been out before but are not interested as he just says i live there.

Kayano Tue 19-Jul-11 13:49:53

Ring the police and tell them everything including the threats! Tell them you don't want him in your house.

You have to act before your baby grows up thinking it is acceptable to treat you or anyone this way

mrscolour Tue 19-Jul-11 21:36:17

Hi, wish i could give some advice but I don't have this sort of experience. Plesae get some legal advice asap. Whatever you do, don't be tempted to go back to this bully!

I wish you luck! x

hotelindia Wed 20-Jul-11 22:08:26

nickinoo, there is a great supportive thread going on for people in abusive relationships. Go to the body and soul section and look under relationships. I have been reading the thread and can honestly say that there are some fantastic people contributing to it with some very wise and comforting words.

I wish you all the best and hope you find a way forwards for you and your children without this nasty piece of work in your lives.

Nickinoo76 Thu 21-Jul-11 09:18:42

Thank you for all your kind messages i am so glad i am not going mad after all!! I am however going to see a solicitor today to see what can be done it was the 1st app i could get. I will keep you posted and thanks for your support xx

hotelindia Fri 22-Jul-11 10:50:57

Good luck. And here's the link to the thread I mentioned.

Support thread

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