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Will I get to keep the house?

(9 Posts)
clahmdowndear Thu 30-Jun-11 11:36:36

Namechanged to post this.

Am thinking of divorcing my husband. I think the only thing that's currently stopping me are really the financial ramifications of that.

For the past two years he has been on anti-depressants and hasn't worked and as a result has ended up doing the lion's share of the childcare. Previously I did most of the school drop off and pickup. I continue to work four days a week.

If we separate, I think I can keep the mortgage going by renting out our spare room for extra cash - but is it likely I'd be forced to sell our house? I've no idea what he would do for living, as I don't think he'll get a job. Would that mean I'd have to pay him maintenance? Any advice would be very gratefully received.

GypsyMoth Thu 30-Jun-11 11:44:23

er,i think you may find HE will be the one entitled to stay as he seems to be caring for the dc...

divorce,by all means,but accet he may be the one in the former marital home,with the dc!

clahmdowndear Thu 30-Jun-11 13:52:00

Would that be the default position do you think? He cares for our school-aged son three afternoons a week after school. I do the other two. But my job requires some evening work, so he does a fair bit of the babysitting at nights. And tbh - his depression (and drinking) don't make him a poster boy for fatherhood.

GypsyMoth Thu 30-Jun-11 15:29:19

well if his childcare is good enough for now....then it should be good enough post split

FellatioNelson Thu 30-Jun-11 18:56:12

Agree with ILT. At least that should be the way it works. Ask yourself if this were the other way around would it be fair for you (a SAHM suffering from PND perhaps) to be ousted from your home just because your DH wanted a divorce, and he is the one with the job.

ledkr Thu 30-Jun-11 19:35:19

Yes i aggree,if you are the one who wants out, in some respects you have to make sure he doesnt suffer unduly. My exh was a cheating arsehole but is guilt meant that me and the children didnt have to leave our home.It is the one redeeming thing he did do.

Wisedupwoman Sat 02-Jul-11 23:55:53

Seek legal advice OP. You may get a free half hour consultation with a sol locally but make sure it's a sol who specialises in family law.

clahmdowndear Mon 04-Jul-11 12:29:51

Thanks for the comments - you've made things a little clearer for me, and I think I will try and get some professional advice.

kipperandtiger Mon 18-Jul-11 23:11:28

OP, you might need to start doing more childcare (ie make yours three afternoons rather than two) as they might judge that the status quo means your DH is the main carer. But if you do more at the weekends, it might turn out to be viewed as fifty-fifty.

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