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Abusive text’s from ex regarding contact times.

(4 Posts)
MotheringMilly Thu 09-Jun-11 18:59:45

I wonder if anyone can help, my ex has lowered himself to name calling via text. I recently changed a date that he was due to see our daughter on, I gave him plenty of notice and said he could see her the day before if he liked. He wasn?t happy, accused me of stopping him from seeing his daughter, said he would tell our daughter this when he next saw her and accused me of me obstructive and called me a host of other names. Nothing threatening, but none the less it was unpleasant and upsetting.

Contact has always been agreed between us, we have never been to court, he sees his daughter every other weekend, I do not have a problem with this. But whenever he doesn?t get his own way he resorts to playground tactics and I am fed up with it.

Am I entitled to say to him that from now on he can only text me dates and times and I will confirm which are good? Can I go to the Police if he contacts me without my permission or sends similar texts.

Also I want to address the point of him threatening to tell our daughter that I stop him from seeing her, how is this best handled?

I know he is trying to bully me, it doesn't work but I just do not want to have to deal with him anymore if he cannot act like an adult.


kimmy23 Thu 09-Jun-11 19:52:04

Solicitors are expensive but maybe a letter from a solicitor regarding formal contact arrangements and appropriate conduct between handovers/arrangements might sort out his attitude. If you are/were married and getting divorced you should have a consent order drawn up with contact agreements written in it. Unfortunately there is very little you can do to stop unreasonable or rude messages - unless they are threating you with harm -I have had my fair share for five years from my ex! Just take a deep breath and continue to act like a reasonable adult. Good luck!

Bearinthebigwoohouse Thu 09-Jun-11 20:00:55

Why did you change the date? I must admit it does sound a little bit like you were telling him, rather than asking him, and that might be why he's so angry.

MotheringMilly Fri 10-Jun-11 11:35:24

We were not married.

Admittedly I was telling him, a family get together has come up where it is important that my daughter be there. I can honestly say that it is the first time in six years I have ever changed a date around, he is always doing it to me, sometimes on the morning of the day he is due to pick his daughter up, I have always been understanding.

I can understand he was angry but it is no excuse to act the way he did, he has done it too many times now and I am fed up. If I have to approach a solicitor or try for mediation then I will as I am not putting up with his behaviour anymore, it is completely unnecessary. The problem is he has always been manipulative, now he knows he has no control he is clearly frustrated and all he can do is be nasty.

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