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ADHD and struggling to related to people

(13 Posts)
oneforward20back Tue 16-Jun-09 00:29:01

<a bit wobbly at emotional openess>

Never understood the friendship thing. In highschool either never spoke to anyone or spoke to many but no one close enough to be friend. My college and uni experience put me into a position where i was forced needed to be more open and actually had friends. But still had issue relating emotionally and struggle greatly to allow people to know me emotionally. I don't do social events eg parties, weddings etc and prefer to keep people at a distance. It destroyed my relationship to ds' daddy and i even struggle to relate to ds sometimes (a survival tactic perhaps as he has violent behaviour issues).

But it is getting out of control and something i want to resolve. but how, and who can help or advice. Do i need to question this as something other then ADHD or is this an unfortunate side affect.

<point me in right direction then shove>

MaryBS Fri 26-Jun-09 13:16:48

Do you know, I was going to post a similar thread (I might still do so).

I have Asperger syndrome, and I was just thinking about should I just give up on trying to make friends IRL? I too find it hard to relate to people.

Thing is, do you want friends? What part of it do you feel is out of control, your realtionship with your DS?

DidEinsteinsMum Sat 27-Jun-09 13:41:34

Is afraid you have an old posting name here MaryBS blush

Generally i am ok with just casual chatters. I have one or two good friends but they are people i catch up with as and when and not people i feel i have to make the effort with. I dont know that they understand me but they are happy to let me have some space when i wish to have it and not hold it against me.

MaryBS Sat 27-Jun-09 13:58:33

No worries

DidEinsteinsMum Sat 27-Jun-09 19:33:27

How is it going? RL?

MaryBS Sat 27-Jun-09 22:44:04

I've backed off on IRL friendships. If I'm being completely honest, the small talk I come up with are based around their interests, not my own, and I think I'm trying a bit too hard.

How about you?

DidEinsteinsMum Sun 28-Jun-09 00:14:33

Had an unintended social situation success.

I accidently managed to gatecrash a friends party. Her daughter had a prom night so they had friends night. Not knowing it was happening as my mobile is stuck and unaccessible I popped over between tea and bedtime to get her no so could keep in touch.blush

It was actually a reasonable success and only managed to kill the conversation 3 times in the whole evening. For which i was teased. That particular group of friends are particulalry welcoming to outsiders (of which i am technically one) and had it been a group of different people it would have been a nightmare.

I will admit small talk about things other people are interested in is always good. It keeps the focus off me blush Although if you catch me on topic of ds .... blush

Situation with ds not improved but he is away on a hol with grandparents so i have some space and hope will be able to be more ... when he gets back.

MaryBS Sun 28-Jun-09 09:12:35

Cool, they sound lovely!

I guess I'm a bit fed up with it all, because people if anything seem to be drifting away from friendship with me, rather than closer, and I don't know what to do about it. Like I'm tolerated. I think I'm liked too, but not enough for anyone to want to be friends with me, to invite me round for coffee, that sort of thing. I've tried inviting people round, so its not that I don't try.

DidEinsteinsMum Sun 28-Jun-09 13:44:02

I have the same problem where i currently live. It might be life, or maybe they need to take the stick out of their arse they mean to and dont get round to it. wink

MaryBS Sun 28-Jun-09 14:32:09

I'm thinking about starting a group for social misfits, do you reckon it'd take off?

DidEinsteinsMum Sun 28-Jun-09 15:50:50

Don't know. Are you south or north of london. I'd be there (probably voted in by other helpful souls wink)

MaryBS Sun 28-Jun-09 16:18:13

North, near Cambridge

DidEinsteinsMum Sun 28-Jun-09 16:21:30

Ah down the road from where i am currently sitting. Not normal haunt but a past one. Currently borrowing ex PIL's house whilst they have ds for the weekend no sense driving back north to come back again. Plus they then have cat sitter.

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