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I'm not disabled, going for an operation soon and need some tips.(15 Posts)
Firstly sorry if this is in the wrong forum, or if this is trivial.
I am going for an operation, and for the last couple of years have managed on pain relief but after going to the doctors and MRI scans I need an operation on my knee.
I will be on crutches and have got to rest as much as I can, DH will have to work. It will be a few months before I will be able to walk unaided.
I have 2 children, my DD will be 5 and ds ( who is asd) 8.
I'm not worried about the op, but scared about how will I look after them.
Once again I am sorry if this post is trivial or offensive.
Not offensive at all, and highly sensible to be planning in advance.
I can't help much, alas, not having children. I would say, don't be afraid to do things differently, rather than trying to keep things the same and ending up doing everything badly - but I think you've probably embraced that idea already.
If you can move around on crutches, a cross-body bag seems popular. Maybe also be worth investing in a walking frame with tray?
Make yourself a "lounging station" each day on the sofa, with everything you need within easy reach. (This takes planning... and there's always something you've forgotten.)
Lose the habit of leaping up after everyone! Get used to asking people to come to you: they will, once they've adjusted. If your DS needs routines, start developing new ones now?
Hope someone more knowledgeable will be along soon with more child-oriented advice.
You state upfront that you aren't disabled - but you will have a temporary disability, and it isn't being appropriative to describe it like that to people, including your kids.
I've only got the one, but had quite severe mobility problems when he was smaller. I'd suggest doing as much as you can by remote control: order the shopping online to be delivered, for example.
Don't be afraid to point out to the kids when they can do something for themselves, even if you would usually do it - eg if they ask for a drink or a biscuit, you can tell them where to get it for themselves.
Is there anything in particular you are worried about?
Good luck, OP.
Oh, and I forgot, not trivial or offensive at all. You are very sensible, IMO, to ask for advice before it happens.
Shopping - agree, shop online as much as possible. Many larger supermarkets also have store wheelchairs or even mobility scooters you can use instore.
Making meals - lots of planning. Set yourself up somewhere comfortable and give yourself plenty of time to prep veg. A (fold-up?) stool will be useful when you're actually cooking.
And as Titus says, train the kids to do simple things themselves. Start now, explaining that after the op mummy won't be able to do things till her leg is better. I think it can be scary for children when their all-powerful parents suddenly... aren't. But if they're in control and confident in their small tasks by the time of the op, and also know that the change is temporary, it will be more about them being ever-so-grown-up for a bit (and then they can relax and regress when you're better!).
Shopmobility hire out mobility scooters, so if you have a local one that may be the way to do school run.
Alternatively, secondhand scooters probably wouldn't lose much value over a couple of months, so if finances allow it might be worth buying one with the plan of selling when you no longer need it.
Again, hiring one first from Shopmobility (or a disability shop) would be a good way to test practicalities like parking, charging, existence of suitable routes, and whether a small fold-up, goes-in-the-boot jobby is what you need, or a sturdy all-terrain monster.
It will be easier than you imagine when it happens. Dont panic
Shopping - i have a delivery pass, and get food delivered twice a week, so always have fresh bread and milk and veg etc. i get all my veg pre-prepped, so it only has to be cooked, and as much ready prepped mains (stuffed chickens etc) as possible. I supervise while the kids get it in (and mine are only 2 and 3, lol), with me helping anything i can and the driver helps with the rest. I spend about £40-£50 a shop, no top ups then, so £80-£100 a month. Thats for me, dh and two toddlers.
Cooking - yy to a chair. Apart from that, cook things like spag bol, where you can add stuff and then sit down for four hours
Do you have a dishwasher? washing dishes at the sink is much much harder than cooking. And will dh be around enough to take on most of the cleaning, i'd imagine you'd especially struggle with things like changing beds?
School run - this is where i've struggled. But i dont drive, and its a long way to ds1s nursery. When he starts school in september we'll be fine as i have a mobility scooter. If you think you need one, there are companies online that you can rent them from for a longer term than the shopmobility type of places. If you end up buying one new, may i recommend careco, thats where i go mine from for a fraction of the rrp (think their cheapest is £350?). If the school is up a drive, that you have to walk, speak to the school, they may let you drive up to drop off.
Think thats it for now, if i can help anymore, just let me know xx
Hi OP. I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but just wanted to thank you for starting this thread, as I'm in a similar position with knee surgery coming up and a 4 yr old DS. Also have just moved to new city so no family or friends to help.
Like you, I am really worried about the school run. And DH works Saturdays so that's a whole day with a rambunctious DS on my own.
I'm feeling a bit reassured by all the advice here so thanks everyone
I think DS will cope but I'm worried about keeping him safe, he's just turned 4. I don't completely trust him not to run off if we're outside, sometimes he climbs where he shouldn't in the house, etc. 95% of the time he's fine but I can't stop thinking about worst case scenarios. I'm going to follow the advice here and try not to panic.
Thank you very much, I don't feel so much panic now.
Just found this dreaming
Put plastic glasses, bowls, cutlery, cereals etc in low drawer/on tray for kids to help themselves to breakfast. You can often"borrow" a scooter from the local council and a ramp for the front door and a commode for the bedroom/stool for the shower. I have a saddle stool on castors that is in the kitchen - look in beauty supply websites or amazon for similar. Like a dentist's stools that moves up and down and across the floor - great for cooking washing up etc. shopping online. I have an ocado mid week pass (because they will take everything downstairs to kitchen without question or complaint). I refill sport bottles so I don't have to get up for water (place them everywhere in house) cleaning supplies upstairs AND downstairs (anti bac wipes in bathrooms ). Let the school know in case they can help (collect at the gate instead of getting trampled underfoot in playground) any neighbours for school run? Put a letter box high outside front door or a basket to catch letters so you don't have to bend. Use kiddie warlike talkies (or intercom function on phone) for asking DH to being something to you ...can't think or anything else....best of luck.
Oops walkie talkies. Not warlike... Autocorrect
Also if you need to rest stick note on front door saying "baby sleeping" or similar so you don't have to struggle to answer the door and find it's a cold caller or they want you to take in a parcel for next door.
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