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What help is available for a parent in chronic pain?

(4 Posts)
Jilkh Wed 08-Jun-11 16:42:11

I'm a 31 year old mum to be (28 weeks along) and been struggling with worsening health problems for about a year - very painful neck, very painful wrist, and crippling migraines. So far there has been no satisfactory diagnosis or treatment. As I cannot earn my own living at this stage, we are supported by my husband's salary alone.

I've researched some treatments I can try when the baby is born. However, it seemes likely they will have a sedating effect, at least in the short-term. This is an alarming prospect, especially as I am already worried about dealing with chronic pain and a baby.

My GP and midwife have talked about the importance of having a 'good support network' when the baby is born. I find this somewhat frustrating, because it simply isn't the way our society tends to work. In this day and age, 'a good support network' seems to boil down to my overworked husband trying to do the impossible - working during the day, running the house during the evenings, and tending to the baby during the nights! I have no sisters, and my friends are over-stretched, working mothers themselves.

(Obviously, I'll be doing as much as I can, but I cannot push past the pain because I end up in agony, which is worse for everyone).

SURELY I'm not the first person facing this situation? What would happen if my poor husband had a breakdown (which seems quite reasonable in the circumstances!).

Does anyone have any suggestions? Just to save time:
* We can't afford a cleaner or nanny.
* Family support is unavailable.
* My GP is unaware of any government help available.
* We live in Northern Ireland so help from the disabled parent's network is not available to us.

Ben10isthespawnofthedevil Wed 08-Jun-11 16:54:26

You can claim DLA if you have extra care needs. Then you could use this money towards a cleaner. Are you claiming Employment and Support Allowance - there are special rules for pregnant ladies which make it easier to claim. When you have the baby, you could see if a home start volunteer can come out to help you.

Jilkh Thu 09-Jun-11 13:20:24

Thank you for this. DLA is very tricky to get at the moment, especially when pregnant because the doctors assume many problems will clear up after pregnancy and therefore are not 'permanent'. Apparently I'm not even entitled to a blue badge!

Does anyone know if there are any websites/books/charities/other resources out there?

What other sources of support do disabled parents draw upon?

flamencogirl Mon 11-Jul-11 19:45:32

I worry like you. I have a chronic back condition - been around for years - but worsened over last 2 or 3. I am worried about caring for a baby with it. Like you when the pain gets realy bad I find it hard to even move.

My doctor didn't seem to think there was any help available

I hadn't realised abut DLA, not sure how you qualify for that?

My flares are about every 2/3 months where I lose mobility for a good few days at a time. Always in some degree of pain every day though

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