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Dementia and Alzheimer's

dementia parent keeps wanting to move house

5 replies

Oranges75 · 25/08/2019 15:16

Hi, does anyone have experience of someone with mid stage dementia wanting to move house all the time? my mum begged and begged me to move them out of her house as she felt isolated and lonely and wanted to be closer to where we and many of her university friends lived. I did in the end move her, with huge effort and upheaval, to a place near me. She has barely unpacked and is now saying she wants to move closer still to her friends, none of whom have visited her for years and who live in a part of the world that is both more expensive and hard for me to reach. I have POA but have now just said I cannot move her, or visit her if she does move. Am hoping that will mean it wont happen, but she can be so stubborn, she may well find a way. But if she moves it will be catastrophic in terms of her care as I really wont be able to reach her, and her friends are all old too!

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Mosaic123 · 26/08/2019 17:19

How sad. It might be that she is saying "I want my old life back - I want to be young again".

If it's best for you where she is now stick with it but you can say, "I'm looking into new places and anyway no one is moving until after Brexit.

It's very hard for you.

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MereDintofPandiculation · 27/08/2019 07:39

Try working with her towards what needs to happen for her to be able to move and keep your fingers crossed that she'll have changed her mind before you manage to "solve all the problems".

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Oranges75 · 27/08/2019 17:38

I cannot spend any time or energy helping her move again. The last time almost broke me. Yes she wants a life that doesn’t exist anymore. She thinks all her friends are now in a cruise together without her. They really are not. One is in hospital having a heart bypass. But she is at that dangerous stage of appearing just convincing enough that estate agents etc take her seriously

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Starlingsarebullies · 27/08/2019 17:43

If you have POA, it might be useful to put a restriction on the title if you think she might sell without your agreement

www.gov.uk/protect-land-property-from-fraud

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Oranges75 · 28/08/2019 09:48

That’s a really good idea on restriction. I’m worried she will manage to sell but really won’t be able to buy a new place and would be a sitting duck for fraudsters if there is a huge sum of money from a house sale in her bank account.