Mum disappeared - how can we find her?

[person4]

My mum has moderately severe Alzheimer's and my Dad cares for her. They live in the centre of Paris (my mum is French).

She went out this morning and hasn't come back. Apparently she was very insistent, and Dad thought she would go out for a few minutes then come back - but she didn't. She could have gone in any direction - she wandered off once before and got quite a long way before someone realised she needed help and called the Police.

Dad called the police an hour after she went off, and they've got a photo. But they haven't found her yet. He's gone to the shops they often go to, and nearby streets, but no luck. He's also called the hospital (they have a central register) and no-one giving her name (maiden or married) has been checked in, and no-one unable to give a name of the right age.

I'm so worried for her. She can't find her way places any more, and even if she realises that she's lost she doesn't have the reasoning to find someone and tell them.

So I guess a couple of questions:

1. If you have a parent/loved one who has wandered off like this, how long did it take for them to be found and where were they?

1. What is the best thing for me to do? I think I should go over to Paris tomorrow if she hasn't been found (I live in London) and look for her - but how do I do that? Go through the streets one by one ? Are there specific places it would be better to focus on?

I just don't know how best to do this, and I'm aware that as time ticks by she could be getting further away.

She's so vulnerable. I think she must be sleeping on the street somewhere. She didn't have any food or drink with her, and no money to buy anything. I'm so scared for her.

[Decormad38]

She may have some fond memory from childhood - she may head for a school as sometimes individuals with dementia connect to small children as this is a fond memory. It’s just a thought. When my mum disappeared she was picked up fairly soon after and had gone shopping because she loved shopping

[Wintersnowdrop]

Oh how scary for you. Can you get out messages on Facebook in Paris? Is there a local police missing page? I often see Facebook posts about missing people in my area. There must be a French equivalent?

[Elliss2018]

How scary for you and your dad. Definitely try a Facebook post and tag any of your french friends to share it? Really hope she's found soon

[Wintersnowdrop]

Could you move your post to a more popular board where it might be seen by more mumnetters particularly ones in France?!

[MachineBee]

Thinking of you OP. Nothing to add except sending you and your DF wishes and hopes that she is found safe soon. I would go over if you can. Your DF will appreciate it.

[Honeyroar]

Where did she live previously? When my mil used to wander she was trying to "go home". Could that be a possibility? Would she have anything on her with identification on her? My mil was found by a lady who helped her go through her bag and found a phone number. If she is lost and wandering surely someone will help her sooner or later.

You poor thing, you must be worried sick. I hope she turns up soon. We sneaked a dog tag onto my MIL's handbag that had our phone no on when she started wandering.

[Catzpyjamas]

Are her childhood home and school in Paris? Have you tried all her previous doctor's surgeries? My uncle seemed to know to get help when he used to do this (now in a secure home) but often thinks he is either a child or a much younger adult so aimed for safe places from his past.
Try posting to Lostbox and they may know of the French equivalent site?
I hope she is found soon.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

My grandfather was always trying to get 'home' aka his childhood home in Devon. He tried to get the bus sometimes so maybe public transport cctv? He also hid in a bush once for hours, only a few meters from the 'secure' home he'd escaped from (window and drainpipe, not really their fault as that's pretty unexpected!)

[Mammajay]

Did she live somewhere before her current address? Perhaps with you as a child? That is a possible destination. I am sure you will find her soon. Please come back to let us know.

[OldAndWornOut]

She may make her way to places that were important years ago.
School, shops, and so on.

Hope she is found soon.

[Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername]

No advice, other than what PPs have said, but just wanted to say I hope everything turns out ok

[person4]

She and my dad actually live in her childhood home. She could have got lost within a few streets walk though. She went out with absolutely nothing. I just hope someone realises she is confused and calls the police.

[Crabbyandproudofit]

Fingers crossed for you, and your parents. My only advice is use SM to get as much publicity as you can. Use fb, chase the police to get details on their website, get a story in the press. I don't know how much CCTV there is around Paris but chase the police to search it. You might not be naturally pushy but get friends and family motivated, work colleagues, any other networks you are involved with.

Hope she's home soon.

[IncrediblySadToo]

Big hugs, it’s very scary I know.

My Ex’s Nan used to do this, but she would go at night when (ex’s) Grandad was sleeping (nothing woke him!!) so generally we’d get a phone call from the local police saying they were bringing her back. We were very lucky as we lived by the sea where she used to like to swim 😖

(Ex’s) Grandad just couldn’t keep her safe anymore between her wandering off and putting plastic kettles on electric hobbs etc and we had no choice but to put her in a secure care home. Heartbreaking for both of them and us.

I’d have to go, I couldn’t not. Maybe if she hears YOU calling she’ll respond.

Hopefully your mum will be home soon.
🌷

[Samind]

Agree with all pp's. Share as much information as you can. Facebook,missing persons or even their local community page if they have one.

What was her occupation? Could maybe have gone back to school/work place/shops or somewhere she used to frequent often etc

I'm sorry you're having this worry OP. Hope she's found soon.

[Smotheroffive]

oh OP, so sad...I don't know what to say that would help,but just wanted to send a goodwill message for happy reunions very soon!

I think id have to go, and get onto police to check CCTV with description of her clothes and a picture. There's CCTV everywhere here, I can't remember about Paris, depends on the suburb I guess.

Keeping my fingers crossed for her safe return, and yes, I'd be heading over there I think.

[PineapplePatty]

Social media might help x

[cstaff]

This happened my dad last year. He turned up 3/4 hours later. We called the police within a half hour. Definitely use social media. It turned out he had got on a bus into town and then a taxi. He tried to get the driver to bring him to where he was born and raised. The taxi driver realised that he wasn't right and brought him to the police station and because we had reported him they knew who he was. It was one of the most stressful nights. Hope your mum turns up safe and well.

[friskybivalves]

How very upsetting.

I would: tweet a picture of her and tag in the mairie of their arondissement; call SAMU/local police; ring the A&e of the nearest hospitals. Are there are any maisons de retraite nearby? Favourite cafes or cinemas?

I very much hope she turns up safe and well. Which arrondissement are they in?

[binkyblinky]

I'm thinking of you OP. You can get little trackers that you can put somewhere like a bag if she would take it. So you can find her. I'm certain that someone will call the police when she turns up. Lots of love xx

[Sakura7]

This happened twice with my Dad. First time he got on a bus and ended up in a town a couple of miles down the road. Thankfully at that stage he still had his phone and after a lot of coaxing was able to read a road sign out to us, so we went there and found him.

Second time he got up really early without Mum hearing him and was missing for about 5 hours. He was eventually found in the local church. After that he went into a nursing home for his own safety, and he's happy and content there.

Talk to all of the local shop owners, contact the transport companies, check if the neighbours saw anything. I know it's so worrying but just get the word out as far and wide as you can. I hope you find her soon x

[person4]

They've found her safe and sound! We're so relieved!

She was walking along a road - about 4 miles away, on the far side of Paris. It's quite a wake-up call. We'll need to think about how we stop this happening again.

Thank you all for the kind support!

[Smotheroffive]

Oh woooo!!!🎉

Awesome, so glad to hear this before sleeping tonight knowing someones vulnerable DM isn't wanderi g the streets of Paris this night.

It's very scarey and so glad for the update.
Sweet dreams!!

[DailyMailFuckRightOff]

I’m glad she’s been found. How scary for you all xx

[person4]

Thank you!