How to deal with anxiety and over emotion?

[loveasnowdrop]

My DPs live 300 miles away. I talk to them daily and try and go up monthly. DM has dementia and DF appears to be very worried all the time.
What I struggle with most in the daily calls. DF particularly seems to cry with sadness and happiness, everything is a drama. I dread those calls.
They live alone with a great carer who visits daily.
I'm not sure anyone has a solution but I wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation.
I feel like a bitch for complaining.

[Ophelialovescats]

Don't feel bad.
It's a nightmare.
I live too far away from my parents to be of any daily help and they have carers .
But I also find the phone calls difficult.

[loveasnowdrop]

Thanks Ophelia, it's so hard isn't it?
I've looked at Sheltered housing and homes near me but DM says she doesn't want to move.
DF has just cried with relief that I'm going on Friday, it just makes me feel rotten.

[Ophelialovescats]

Are you an only child ?
I have a sister who lives about 2 hours drive away from them but expects me to see them as often as she does. (I live abroad )
Sheltered housing would be perfect if they would consider it ?

[loveasnowdrop]

No I have a Sister too who lives about 90 mins away and she goes go regularly. She lives a very busy, slightly chaotic life but does her best. She doesn't feel the guilt.

[Ophelialovescats]

But at least she doesn't try and make you feel guilty. Mine does. She thinks the care should be equal and that I should visit every 6 weeks .

[wormery]

I wonder if your df is feeling under a lot of pressure and unable to cope, has he had a carers assessment, he might benefit from speaking to his g.p. dementia is so horrible, maybe they need a bit more help, does your mum manage to get out at all.