Sad. And want to phone my dad to talk about it.

(5 Posts)
ChristmasLightLover Mon 18-Dec-17 22:15:45

My Dad has frontal lobe dementia. He's in a care home 'down here' and we're selling Mum and Dads house 'up there'. I don't know where to start - it's all so familiar to so many other people's posts. I am tired of hearing my own thinking on the whole thing. I feel really sad. And I want to call my Dad and talk with him about it. I really miss my conversations with my Dad. You know when you think you'll feel better for posting about it? I'm waiting for that bit to kick in....

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Littlemissdemeanour Mon 18-Dec-17 22:17:34

I don't have anything helpful to say, and with limited experience, but I'm sorry this is happening. It sounds very difficult. I hope someone with more to add comes along soon flowers

LimePickleEnthusiast Tue 19-Dec-17 07:49:50

My Dad has dementia and is in a care home too. It's crap isn't it. I still have my Mum though and she definitely bears the brunt of it. I can't imagine having to deal with this and also selling a house etc. so hats off to you.

I was never that close to my Dad, he was quite a scary man, and in some ways I have an easier relationship with him now than before. I feel so sorry for him though. He's so confused and was always a very quick man. It's awful when we're leaving and he's asking where he's going to be and Mum's explaining that he's staying there and she'll be back tomorrow.

It's so sad when the person is still alive but the person they were is gradually disappearing before your eyes. My Dad was always so smart and now he looks disheveled. He'd hate to see what's happened to him.

I don't think anything I've written is going to make you feel better. It's just sad, sad, sad.

Pansythepotter Tue 19-Dec-17 09:01:03

No advice, just a hand hold and sympathy. My mum was quite old when this disease took hold, almost 90. I was retired so able to spend some time with her. Now I am watching my Son in Law going through the same thing with his Mum and my Daughter-in-law, with hers. It is heartbreaking to watch them both.

I do think that talking to others going through the same thing helps. Especially reassuring, is being able to express out loud your thoughts, which others might be horrified at. When you are at work and caring for children, you feel pulled in so many directions. Sadness, is sometimes overwhelming and paralysing.

The “Caring for Elderly Parents “ thread on here was my life saver and constant companion for a long time. Lovely people to share your thought with and give you advice.

ChristmasLightLover Mon 25-Dec-17 23:22:25

Thank you for the comments. I saw my Dad today. There are moments when it overwhelms me - we were in a lounge - just us - he was circling as usual. All was fine. And then I realised he'd had an accident in his pants and had his pants around his ankles and poo was everywhere. I felt so bad that it had happened. I was so sad that this is happening to him. I helped the carers with cleaning him up and the chairs but it left me feeling shaken up. Every time I see him we're getting something new - it's all taking hold so quickly. I just hope it will be over for him sooner rather than later.

I'm off to find the caring for elderly parents thread... sounds very comforting.

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