Advanced search

Not getting anywhere with diagnosis, SS help - any advice?

(2 Posts)
birdybirdbird Mon 06-Mar-17 18:57:06

Quick bit of back round - My Mum (58) has a history of memory problems probably caused by historical alcohol abuse, although she is now sober. However, her memory is getting worse suggesting that something else is happening alongside this. She has a whole host of other medical issues - deaf, epilepsy, bipolar and is currently going for weekly physio to try and prevents falls (they think she may have osteiopairosis). I live a very long way away and our relationship is pretty strained. She lives alone and has no real family or real friends nearby.
I first went to GP and her psychiatrist about this in October - nothing happened. A few crisises happened in December (harassing neighbours, shouting, swearing at them etc) and mental health team have stepped up a little with a great psych nurse visiting her weekly and organising referrals.
Saw the neurologist a few weeks ago - I thought this would lead to a dementia diagnosis but instead he wants a brain scan (6 week waiting list), then back to see him in 3 months.
Meanwhile, Mum is getting worse and worse - she cannot continue to cope live alone with no support for 3 months! So much I could write but... forgets to cook for herself (actually not capable of cooking anything beyond a ready meal), leaves the hobs on, forgets to takes meds, misses appointments, gets lost in town (most recently some strangers actually drove her home as she was so confused and acting oddly), cannot manage finances (masses of debt, keeps spending and spending - I am in process of sorting this)

Where do i go from here!? She desperately needs care - be that some kind of assisted living or moving into a residential home. We jointly own the house and have done for some time. She is keen to go into sheltered housing and we are both happy to sell up. However, I feel I need to do this with LA and SS backing so they will take over financing once the money runs out (which won't be long ad due to her age she might have many years left to fund!) Social services are very reluctant to step in due to her young age. They seem to want a concrete dementia diagnosis but she really can't wait three months for that and it might not even come then (possibly issues have been caused by the epilepsy rather than a dementia per se). I really am a bit of a loss about what to do so any help or suggestions would be great. TIA and sorry for the huge post!

CDAlady Mon 30-Oct-17 21:49:19

Oh dear. You posted ages ago. I hope you got some sort of help eventually.

I was in exactly the same situation as you. My dad desperately needed care and we couldn’t afford it but SS said they couldn’t do anything without a diagnosis.

Eventually someone with experience with these things told me that nothing would happen unless I created a dramatic fuss or gave an ultimatum. So I said I couldn’t carry on being involved with the care as I was too stressed and exhausted and that he would be at risk without care (I had to put together written evidence of this with names,dates,times etc) and finally SS stepped in.

We still don’t have a diagnosis and that is preventing a move into residential care but now carers can give evidence of need, and that is obviously far better evidence than from untrustworthy relatives.

Wishing you luck with it all.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: