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DF possible dementia

(2 Posts)
ineedaholidaynow Fri 16-Dec-16 10:00:23

DF is in his 80s and over the last couple of years he has been struggling with his memory, mainly forgetting words. This has been steadily getting worse. Also struggling with technology.

He also has cancer and we did initially wonder whether some of his confusion was down to this and the affects of many years of chemo sad

However, it has become clear in the last few months that there is something else going on. DM and I managed to persuade him to go to doctors yesterday and he had to take a memory test. Having blood tests done next week.

So it looks like it is dementia, as if having cancer wasn't enough 😡

So hoped we wouldn't be going down this path but as we are I need some practical advice please.

I know I need to get POA. How do I go about this? Parents currently don't live locally but we are hoping that we can move them closer, before DF deteriorates much more. Will also get POA for DM as well. Do I need to get a solicitor local to them to start the proceedings or can our local solicitor do it?

What is the next stage after blood tests are done? Are there drugs for early stage dementia? Would DF be able to have them as well as his cancer treatment?

With respect to technology etc, how do you keep passwords safe etc? DM has managed to avoid technology so far but I will now need to help her sort Internet banking etc.

Is there anything else I need to do in these early stages? DF is aware he struggles with his memory sometimes but doesn't seem to phased by this at the moment and most of the time carries on as normal. So don't want to make too much fuss around him iyswim but do want to start getting organised for when he will need more help.

pithivier Fri 16-Dec-16 11:45:42

Complete the PoA forms on line. Do it straight away, it is very simple, however, various people have to sign it in the correct order. Once your dad has a diagnosis, you won't be able to do it if he is deemed not to have capacity. So completed the form, get it signed by a friend, find people to witness and send it off. It is £200 per form but if they are on low income you get help. Do your mums at the same time.

Try to persuade them to put finances in joint names if possible. Collect up all paperwork, savings, utilities, insurance, so you have an idea of what is going out of account. I found unnesary insurances being paid for. If your mum can't cope, have mail redirected so that you are on top of things. I would suggest you set up a new bank account with you and your mum, to ensure essential bills are paid. It also avoids the I efficency of some banks and utilities when dealing with PoA.

After the initial assessment there are blood tests and brain scan. My Stepdad refused the scan and I think that it is not pleasant and would not push it if he refuses. Next will be a fuller assessment.

If you have not already done so, Apply for attendance allowance, this is not means tested and will give financial assistance. Keep a list of all medications as this will help them understand his condition.

Final word, which I have written lots of times on here. . nothing ever gets resolved with one phone call. From the first call o. His behalf, keep a file of time, date, organisation, and person you spoke to. Also what was promised. You will be surprised, how it brings results when they know you are taking notes.

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