My mum has severe dementia and is physical disabled. In July she had a bad fall, ended up in hospital for 2 weeks and when she got home was totally unmanageable, pressing her call bell 90 times in one morning and shouting constantly. She had to go back into hospital as there was nowhere else to go and was stuck there, drugged on a general ward to keep her quiet for 2 months while they sorted out the nursing care assessment. There were no nursing beds available anywhere in the county. I tried everywhere. Then one finally came up, not far from my home, but expensive. I grabbed it. I felt we had no choice. With hindsight I should have refused and left her in hospital I think!
Mum has a decent work pension and because of that does not qualify for any help with the fees. She only had a small amount of cash savings plus a bit of money in a pot for her "care at home" fund from the LA. I worked madly to get her flat cleared and on the market. It went on mid-November but has not had a single viewing yet. I doubt it will sell til spring. Its a lovely flat but specialist for older people so limited market.
I was told to apply for attendance allowance. Waited 8 weeks still nothing. Phoned to chase and was told should have applied for Disabled Living Allowance instead. So have just reapplied for that. They couldn't give me a time frame for how long it will take to process.
Meanwhile her funds have gone on care and renovating the flat. So I've been dipping into the "care fund" to pay for her care. The local authority are now threatening legal action if I don't pay that money back.
I just don't know how to pay for everything. I am a single mum struggling to keep my own home going and working extra shifts to keep afloat. There is nothing spare for my mum. Her pension covers half the cost of her care so we are £2000 short every month. I tried to get the local authority to use her flat as security and take over the care costs until the flat sells but they insist they don't do that for 3rd party top-ups. I still have bills going through for her flat too.
How on earth are we meant to cover the costs in the short-term? The LA insist it was my choice to put her in that home so its my problem. The care home have been supportive and agreed not to take next months fee until the LA sort things out but the LA have said there is nothing to sort out! Even if the DLA comes through it will not cover the care.
I didn't ask for mum to get dementia! I didn't ask for power of attorney. I struggle organizing my own life let alone someone else's! I have no other family to help me work out what to do. I've lost my mum and I feel totally desperate. Best advice the LA could give me was "Just be glad she's not got that long to live. If she was younger you'd be in a much worse position".
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Dementia & Alzheimer's
Please help. Desperate. Don't know what to do?
23 replies
jugglingeverything · 05/12/2016 12:31
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