Hi, I wonder if anyone could answer some of my questions re: a dementia assessment for my DM (84)? The back story is that for a couple of years now she has been exhibiting lots of signs, that I believe are associated with dementia, not just 'old age' as she insists it is, e.g.
- Very poor short-term memory, same questions on repeat, forgets appointments, dates etc.
- Muddles up events/occurrences from last few years (but can remember stuff from long ago perfectly)
- Finds it hard to absorb/understand new information, get stressed about quite simple things
- Total inability to get to keep on top of paperwork, ignores important letters from docs, banks, utilities
- Declining interest in personal/household hygiene (washing not happening, bins overflowing, rotting fruit/veg)
- Lack of judgement in the car and dangerous driving
- Inability to assemble a meal any more & no interest in food safety/hygiene/use-by dates
And so on... back in 2014 I raised this with her Doctor (we have POA), and she was visited by a memory clinic assessor, and she passed it no problems. Nothing further happened.
Fast forward to now, and I've just insisted on further investigations, and again the memory clinic person has visited, tested her, and she passed it again, albeit is showing signs of 'mild cognitive impairment', and this person has agreed with her that no further action is needed.
I don't know if some sort of adrenalin kicks in when she has this test, or whether it's not actually testing the part of the brain that is affected, but I am convinced, that the change in her is not just an 'ageing brain' or 'mild cognitive impairment', due to the list of symptoms listed above. She often seems very spaced out and not herself, too.
My DM is completely resistant to any help, seeing it as 'interference' and is in denial about all that my siblings and I do to ensure complete chaos doesn't break out with regard to her staying on top of things (e.g. the electricity about to be cut off, bank fraud was happening, always loads of gone-off food in the house, light bulbs out everywhere, no oil booked for winter, car left un-taxed etc. etc.) - mainly because she can't remember us doing any of it!
In all other respects, she is in rude health, and my siblings therefore think we should just leave her to it, and be grateful she's not worse, and accept the memory clinic's word.
I don't agree. Especially as she is also my DF's carer, and they live very remotely in the middle of nowhere, with no family or friends close by.
Can anyone tell me, then, any of the following:
- Why is a dementia assessment important? Can some types be slowed down with drugs?
- Is the memory test failsafe for all types of dementia?
- What should I insist upon with her doctor next? Blood tests? Brain scan? And is it reasonable for me to do so?
- Is there some sort of help we can access if she is diagnosed? i.e. a carer popping in a couple of times a week? And financial assistance?
Sorry, it's a long list, but I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through this or similar.