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Help finding a home for my father

(9 Posts)
newscribe Thu 17-Nov-16 02:17:40

I'm hoping someone out there can help me. I live in Hong Kong at the moment and am moving back to the UK in a few months primarily because my father has Alzheimer's. It is getting to the stage where he might need to go into a care home in a year or so, and I am starting to research private and state homes in the Surrey area - anywhere around Camberley as far as towards Kingston. It is quite hard knowing where to begin, just getting to grips with CQC ratings and have looked on Mumsnet for questions to ask when going to visit homes once I have a shortlist. I thought it was worth asking on here for any personal recommendations of dementia homes in the Surrey area that members might know of or even have family members living in? Any advice would be hugely helpful. TIA.

Scottishthreeberry16 Thu 17-Nov-16 07:40:37

Hi, no personal experience but perhaps join the online Facebook group Dementia Aware and ask there. Also, I remember reading a post in that forum which was about how to tell if it's a good care home or not so you could do a within-forum search.

Good luck!

newscribe Thu 17-Nov-16 08:08:41

Ok will do and thank you.

The area you are looking at is mostly covered by Surrey county council so their website will give you a full list of what is available. Some are eye wateringly expensive so once you got a shortlist based on location and cost go and look at them because they do all have a different feel. One relative of mine chose the home she moved to because it was in a rural area, she could watch the birds outside her room and she had a chandelier in the bedroom. My FinL was in a new build home and it didn't have the country house feel but it was a kind place and he thrived there.

Trust your gut feeling about a place and don't discount a local authority home. In my last parish I went into the LA home to visit the residents that no one else went in to see and the standard of care was excellent. There were no chandeliers but lots of outside groups came in such as the PAT dogs and singing groups and the church so the place felt part of the community.

It is a tough decision to make so good luck.

newscribe Thu 17-Nov-16 09:08:33

thank you thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts that is really helpful. My father is really sociable so having chatty/interested carers is a huge priority. Thanks so much for your comments.

user1481170587 Thu 08-Dec-16 04:49:59

Try this site...
[ ] hope it's useful.

I can sense your stand as my dad is a Dementia patient who has been admitted in a dementia nursing care [ ] at Canada. He is coping up well after their memory exercises and treatments. I make my living here in UK and it's a terrible feel missing my dad.

NurseRosie Thu 08-Dec-16 05:01:21

I am a community nurse who visits mainly care homes. My advice would be to visit unannounced and ask to be shown around. This way you get to see the home as it really is and if they won't show you round I think that says a lot. If you are not visiting home prior to placement I would ask someone you trust to visit for you.
It may be worth seeking advice from social services. Even if you are privately funding they may support your search, I know our local authority is quite good with that.
Think about what it is important to you and your dad. Is he sociable and so activity and communal time is important. Would you prefer a more homely feel that may be lacking from bigger more purpose built homes? It may also be worth considering homes that are residential with a nursing aspect as he may need nursing care further down the line.
If you are unsure or get a bad feeling, trust your gut.
I know this must be very difficult for you but good luck x

newscribe Thu 08-Dec-16 05:26:04

Thank you so much for the link. Yes, it is awful being so far away at the moment, it just increase the sense of helplessness in the face of this horrendous disease.

newscribe Thu 08-Dec-16 05:27:37

and thank you NurseRosie for your advice, that is really helpful as we were planning on arranging visits, but dropping in sounds the best way to really see each place as it is. Thank you.

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