My dd has vascular dementia. She has recently got a lot worse. She is constantly gripped by really horrible delusions that make her anxious and torment her. For example, we have come to visit this weekend.. She is actively avoiding talking to me because, according to my dad, I've apparently told her it would be better if she and my dad died before the other set of grandparents because they are more helpful with the kids. This never happened. She's completely made it up. She is also convinced my dad is having an affair. He's not and would never dream of having one. She thinks she told the local dignitary to f* off at a drinks party. She has been very distressed by this. She has pretty much never sworn in her life. I can't distract her. If I try, she becomes suspicious of my intentions. If I say these things aren't true, she doesn't believe me. She returns to the delusions constantly. It's very upsetting, both for her and us.. I'd be grateful if anyone had any ideas about how to support her because I have absolutely no idea what to say to her.. Thanks..
Gosh, that must be so distressing for her and for you.
Maybe the best course of action is to acknowledge her worries and to think about why she might feel that way - worrying about not being useful, that she feels she doesn't say the right thing, that she forgets where your dad is etc and try to deal with those. Very hard though.
Check with her GP- she may have a UTI which can exacerbate confusion. Also ask whether they can check if she's had another bleed as it may be causing problems. Keep background noise to a minimum when she's frustrated. Don't argue with her, ask her opinion then distract. Be aware that early evening and night times can have a negative impact on her moods (sun downing). I wish you luck.
Mum does this on a regular basis. She's absolutely convinced that conversations that have never happened are real. It's easy to prove that haven't at the moment, and she is willing to accept it, but I'm wondering if this will get worse as her general condition deteriorates.
I have this with my DDad who is in hospital. The lovely HCPs breeze past agreeing with him, whereas I have to discuss the delusions at length and he get frustrated and it also becomes clear to him that they aren't true or don't make sense. It isn't helped by them humouring him because it wedges them more firmly in his head. I don't know what the best way of dealing with it is.