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Things we need to do before MIL moves into care home?

(15 Posts)
CocktailQueen Wed 06-May-15 14:20:12

DH has found a respite care home place for his mum while she's on the waiting list for a place in a home closer to us. What do we need to do before she moves in? Pack a case with clothes, books, toiletries, everything she will need on a day to day basis, and personal mementoes. Label her clothes? Anything else?

Thanks!

morethanpotatoprints Wed 06-May-15 20:34:30

I'm not sure my love, they seem like practical suggestions.
Are there any things she likes to look at like a plant, flowers.
Is she still able to read or listen to anything on a radio.
sorry if those questions are stupid.
Hope somebody comes along soon with more suggestions.

CocktailQueen Wed 06-May-15 21:50:20

Thanks, they're good ideas. Flowers when she's moved in would be nice smile

isthatmorelego Wed 06-May-15 21:56:11

Been In This sad situation twice we found family photos , food box with biscuits ,nice cake but not too much others wonder in the rooms even label tights ,socks , cloth hankies it all goes walkies .A radio or tv for her room if she still has interest in that.

There will be times when you feel like your heart breaking but she will be safe that's all you can do .

Fairy13 Wed 06-May-15 22:02:59

Family photos labelled with who the people are. Personal things with meaning. Make sure she has a Tv in her room.

Medication and list of.

Please feel free to pm me, am an older persons social worker.

Annabanana1812 Wed 06-May-15 22:10:36

I worked in a cafe and have some tips. Label everything as things get mixed up and left behind eg shower gels in the bathroom that a carer forgets to lift then it gets put somewhere it doesn't belong. They the name tag buttons for clothes as marker washes off and you lose clothes. Write some notes for staff and put on her wall like a short life story so they can engage with her about her past and family. Plenty of pictures and maybe a radio/cd player or TV and DVDs if she likes those. Have a plan in place for emergency on what you would like them to do such as who to contact first and a care plan. Set up a visiting rota with all family
Members so you do not feel like she is on her own have a different person call everyday so you all have a break. Make sure she has contact with an OT to ensure she has the bed/chair she needs. Make notes of any changes in her and report it to her care staff as they may not notice if it's a busy place. If she likes to get her hair done regularly find one that will call to the care home and do it. Make a list of her favourite foods and ask them to stock these. Mini fridges are good to keep stuff in for visitors. Make sure you label her hair brush too

Annabanana1812 Wed 06-May-15 22:11:22

Worked in a care home not a cafe shock

CocktailQueen Wed 06-May-15 22:16:13

Ah, there is only dh and me. No other visitors. She has family - elderly sister 200 miles away, distant family in Wales, plenty of grandchildren, but they're all selfish fuckers and won't visit her. Just us.

Will order labels...

Not sure if she can still work a tv or radio. She hasn't watched tv for a year at home. Maybe a carer could help... Will get magazines, but no books.

Thanks fairy and Anna - v helpful

star

Catypillar Wed 06-May-15 22:20:58

How about filling this in, with help from your MIL if she's able to do that? www.scottishcare.org/docs/037_280__gettingtoknowme_1369954145.pdf I'm an old age psychiatrist and find these really helpful in the ward, you can also use them in care homes. The care home staff will ask questions about looking after her but this document gives you an opportunity to have a think beforehand about anything that would be important for them to know.

JustWantToBeDorisAgain Wed 06-May-15 22:53:06

Was going to suggest the Alzheimer's society's this is me document similar to what city pillar has suggested. It is really really really helpful for staff trying to settle your MIL to have hints on the kind of things she has enjoyed and her life experiences. Music and TV programmes she used to watch are also good as sometimes they can get clips of shows or play music which can draw on old memories. Having an understanding of the family set up ( with names ) may also help to make sense of conversations or memories stirred up. Some homes have memory boards or small shelves for objects which they identify with outside of rooms which help residents identify their own rooms.

The more you can make the room feel familiar the easier it should be for you Diml to settle.

CocktailQueen Thu 07-May-15 09:18:17

Brilliant, thanks so much, Catypillar -will print that out and fill it out with dh. Was thinking about making a photo montage for her too with all family photos.

Ave just ordered new dressing gown, nighties, undies and lots of labels for everything!

CMOTDibbler Thu 07-May-15 09:25:54

A photo book of her life and relatives with simple text like 'QueensMIL was born in Right Street, St Marys, Manchester' 'QueensMIL and her mother Doris and father Ted' so that carers can share it with her and it might give her some conversation with others.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Wed 20-May-15 16:54:38

You need to label everything, not just clothes. People with dementia are apt to help themselves to anything they fancy and e.g. a framed photo can end up in someone else's room, and nobody will know whose it is unless it's labelled on the back.
The Alzheimer's Society website is a very good source of info on all things dementia, and their Talking Point forum is a great place for advice from those who know exactly what it's like, or just for letting off steam.

thatsn0tmyname Wed 20-May-15 16:58:31

Make sure her clothes are easy to wash and non iron. Hope she settles in OK.

CocktailQueen Fri 05-Jun-15 12:59:27

Thanks all. MIL has now moved in. The staff have put up photos that we took in all round her room and on the door outside her room too. We filled in a big form all about MIL and the staff have read it,. They are all lovely. Fingers crossed!

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