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(6 Posts)
Quickstep1 Sun 02-Nov-14 09:29:03

My m signs of dementia rapidly increased with sudden death of her son. Over 2 years we cared for her in her own home with daily visits, shopping etc. after recent uti she was in hospital for 3 weeks where her decline was alarming and she went from mobile confused lady to totally immobile and incontinent. Hospital said she may never walk again. She came home to my house 6 weeks ago as we did not want ch due awful experience with another family member. She sleeps now in bed in our small lounge. Consultant/gp says she cannot be alone at all now ever,
We as a family are in dire trouble now, i cannot afford to stop work, but day cover costing more than i earn. I feel trapped. She is sometimes aggressive and cannot talk much sense at all. She is however mobile again. And continent mostly so that is better. She can go for walks accompanied.
Her house is empty a mile away and now i know i have to take some hard decisions, i have poa but feel very alone and afraid

EvolvingPatient Thu 13-Nov-14 11:10:14

Your story made me very sad and prompted me to register so I can post a reply. I don't have any advice to offer but wanted to say how brave and caring you are to bring your m home and look after her. She has obviously improved enormously in your care compared with what the hospital predicted so you are doing an amazing job. good luck with everything.

ndenneth1969 Mon 05-Jan-15 15:36:02

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

roy8899 Tue 20-Jan-15 07:58:59

Can be so hard I am in a similar place

CDTadmin Thu 29-Jan-15 15:39:26

Hello. Please can I suggest that you read Contented dementia by Oliver James...look on Amazon and read the reviews. Also, take a look at the Contented dementia Trust website there is useful info on there and if you email them they will do their best to give constructive advice. There is no need to got through this alone.

AWholeLottaNosy Thu 29-Jan-15 15:46:26

That is so hard, I moved into my dad's home to care for him as he had dementia and was losing his sight. After a year he had to go into a home as it was too hard for me.

Are you getting the benefits you are both entitled to? Carers allowance, attendance allowance? Also you are eligible for respite care, we used it for a cleaner every week. The Alzheimer's Soc are good for info and support, also is there a carer's support organisation in your town?

Get as much support as you can, it's very draining being a carer, especially with dementia. Also don't feel bad if at some point she has to go into a home, sometimes it's the best place as they will have 24hr, trained care.

Best wishes flowers

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