MIL is still in her house. She had a carer for a little while but she let the carer go a few weeks ago. We have no idea why. She is now pretty much incontinent and not very mobile at all. She can't walk without assistance. She lives an hour round trip away from us and we bring her here to spend the day with us once a fortnight and DH goes to see her one day in the week and takes her out for lunch on the alternate week. She's 85. Each time she comes she has an litle (or sometimes big) accident. And she regularly wets herself on the way home in the car, so it's clearly a regular occurrence. (She uses pads but I don't know if she forgets to change them as they aren't doing the job). And the pooh explosions are beyond belief. Does she need to be seen about this or is this pretty much par for the course? (sorry to be indelicate)
She smells awful. Her clothes are stained and smelly. I have offered to do all of her laundry on an ongoing basis but she says she has a washing machine. I keep raising it with DH but he's burying his head in the sand. She definitely isn't coping well at all. Family friends have told us her house smells of urine and that she needs more help. DH keeps saying he thinks she's fine but I think deep down he knows that she isn't really.
She is now losing her short-term memory. So that may be in play re the incontinence. More often than not she doesn't wear her hearing aid so she talks at us but can't hear our answers.
Does anyone have any advice? I feel exhausted. Money isn't an issue, she can afford help. And we are very willing to help practically and financially in the event she needs more care than she can afford.
And she is now asking about looking at 'a home'. But says: 'Not for now but for when the time comes.' What do we do about that?
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Dementia and Alzheimer's
And breathe
12 replies
AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons · 20/10/2014 16:30
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