My ex and I have a DS1 aged 9.
I see DS1 once 1 month and occasionally he stays with me for weekends and holidays. I have new GF and
DS2 aged 9 months. Lately DS1 has seemed to have become very withdrawn and introvert. He stayed with me
this weekend, as I was driving him home and we were approaching his road he suddenly burst into tears,
and when asked explained that he was frightened of ex's BF and was afraid he was going to be there. I was
obviously concerned and relayed to ex what DS1 had explained to me. Ex then breaks down and proceeds to
describe what appears to be a living hell. BF is dispensing physical and mental abuse of the highest
order, forces her to have sex on a regular basis and restricts her contact with friends and family. DS1
is witnessing all of this and it is obviously having a profound effect on his state of mind. He has not
attacked any of the kids, otherwise things would be a little more clear-cut.
I have implored her to contact the police, but as you can imagine, she is very reluctant, due to fear of
what he may well then go on to do. He has been arrested and been taken to court for attacking her in the
past. She has had an anti-molestation order out on him, but he ignores it and worms his way back,
promising he'll change, but he just repeats the cycle. He just won't leave her alone.
It also transpires that due to the last incident DS1 is now having to see a Psychotherapist. Social
services have already moved them once to get away from this monster, but he just tracked them down, they
have a DS together - 18 months. I don't really see eye to eye with ex, but now I know all this I feel
compelled to try to do something for sake of my DS. I live 50 miles away in a small flat and cannot
accommodate DS1 for any extended period, if we had the space we would, most certainly, make efforts take him under our
wing.
I need to understand what my options are. Can I involve social services/police independently of whatever
she chooses to do? Could that make the situation even worse?
Or should I confront him myself on the basis that his behavior is having a very serious impact on my DS
and he needs to cut it out?
Has anyone else been through a simular situation? Any ideas would be gratefully received.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.
Dadsnet
Ex has violent BF
24 replies
Petrocelli · 05/10/2009 11:14
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.