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Wife flirting with ex BF on msn

(8 Posts)
MrSmithJones Fri 24-Oct-08 14:18:39

Just been cleaning up an old PC and had a problem deleting some files so checked them. Turns out they are msn converstion histories. I noticed that one was an ex and the modified date was in the last year so couldn't help myself peeking. Lots of sex talk, mainly him, but she is at the very least humouring him. The worst bit though is that she took a pic of herself topless for me ages ago and it turns out she sent it to him so he can get off on it. We have another PC that I haven't looked at to see if this is still going on. I'm now shaking and head is all over the place. What do i do?!!!

MuAHAHAHAHAHmi Fri 24-Oct-08 14:56:51

Eek. I don't know what you should do, but didn't want to leave you unanswered.

The question is: what do you want to do? I suppose that depends on what you find on the other PC as well but whether it's still going on is academic really, as that fact it's happened at least once has understandably and reasonably upset you.

As you haven't acted yet though, it sounds as if you might be open to sitting her down and talking to her about it.

So sorry to hear of this I hope you feel better soon whichever way things so.

poppy34 Fri 24-Oct-08 15:00:15

sounds like you've had a nasty shock so I'm sorry for you (like there is a good way to find out such a thing ). looking at other pc is sort of academic as mumi says... think it would be better to talk to her - even if was one sided you are entiteld to know why she indulged in this and if its still going on ... also wouldnt it be better to discuss it/hear it from her then find out via checking the other computer as at least that way you are opening the way for honest dialogue on this.

mosschops30 Fri 24-Oct-08 15:15:02

Im thinking you were looking for these? I thought msn chats werent held on pcs?
Have there been other issues?

MrSmithJones Fri 24-Oct-08 15:16:17

There was also a suggestion that they would meet up 3 years ago when she was near where he lives. And there was some suggestive sex talk when she was 5 months preggers with our first son. Its all him really but she sort of goes with it. There's also stuff about what they used to get up to when they were together. ok, i've found this out by noseying at private stuff, but by accident initially. I don't know how to bring this up if at all and am in shock, angry but mainly distressed and in fear of what will happy if I bring it up. I am a mess.

mosschops30 Fri 24-Oct-08 15:21:49

Think you need to discuss it, it will only eat you alive. Get it out in the open, listen to her side of the story and then see where you go from there
Good luck, Ive been there so know how hard it is sad

MrSmithJones Fri 24-Oct-08 15:28:54

How did you deal with it mosschops? what happened? I should not have looked at these files. I am in the wrong for doing it, but I obviously found stuff out. It could get really bad if I bring it up and a fear it could be a disater.

mosschops30 Fri 24-Oct-08 16:20:44

my dh found out that I had been flirting with another man from going thru internet files. He says now that he wished he had never gone looking but he did and its probably best.

We talked and talked for ages, and although nothing happened between me and this guy it hurt dh beyond belief, and still does (almost a year on).

But you need to talk, its the only way you can find out the truth and clear things up if thats what you want


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