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how often do you masturbate?

(75 Posts)
mads1 Tue 19-Aug-08 22:41:11

simple enough question, how often do you have a hand shandy?
And what other phrases are there for it?
And how do you deal with the aftermath?
Ok, 3 simple questions

olympicsnotfederer Tue 19-Aug-08 22:48:42

why do you want to know ?

CaptainPants Wed 20-Aug-08 13:22:14

2 to 4 times a week depending on how friendly or sleepy DW is feeling and how horny I feel.

As to the aftermath, why do you think men prefer showers? Keeps it clean and shiny... everyone likes a shiny.

CaptainPants Wed 20-Aug-08 14:16:31

Forgot the phrases.

Beat the meat.
Spank the monkey.
Spill the beans.
Toast the Vicar.

By the way, how many times do you partake Mads1?

Mums or dads most of us do it... don't we?

beanieb Thu 21-Aug-08 13:43:49

I don't.

Pan Fri 22-Aug-08 11:27:24

Shining the Sword of Luuurve.

misi Sat 23-Aug-08 17:22:25

on the health side here, as you get older, it is best to ejaculate at least once a week which ever way you do it as this helps keep the prostate healthy and clean. by ejaculating you get all the 'crud' out that would usually clutter up the prostate and so make the prospect of BPH less likely.

Saturn74 Sat 23-Aug-08 17:27:16

<<tries to disremember new found knowledge of 'prostate crud'>>

misi Sat 23-Aug-08 17:31:16

could give you a detailed decription but crud was so much a nicer way of saying it grin

ChairmanMiao Sat 23-Aug-08 17:32:25

lol at toast the vicar

<marries in registry office>

TrinityRhino Sat 23-Aug-08 17:40:37


great thread

Pan Mon 25-Aug-08 22:23:11

misi - oh'll be an education......

misi Mon 25-Aug-08 22:49:05

It's a prostatic stagnation hypothesis," says Giles. "The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them.

read this and go arrggghhhh shock

Pan Mon 25-Aug-08 22:51:36

Thanks. Gulp.

Fortunatly I don't have this problem.blush

Pan Mon 25-Aug-08 22:54:10

Wow, misi. Thank you v. much indeed.

zippitippitoes Mon 25-Aug-08 23:02:49

so all this crud lands in me does it if not masturbated out

makes mental note to either move near enough to bf to see him at least once a week or make sure to wind him up enough by remote means for him to hasve a good clear out

NotDoingTheHousework Mon 25-Aug-08 23:04:05

Message withdrawn

ShinyPinkEELSwithShoesOn Mon 25-Aug-08 23:04:33

ROFL Zippi!!!!!!! grin

misi Mon 25-Aug-08 23:05:53


funny or serious reply?


the acidic environment of the uterus will neutralise the contaminants so need to worry.
but yes, frequent flushing reduces the concentration so sex more often is beneficial to both wink

EasyRider Mon 25-Aug-08 23:06:08

pmsl at pans sword grin

trinity someone was looking for you earlier smile

Pan Mon 25-Aug-08 23:06:18

oh zippi..ANY excuse....

ShinyPinkEELSwithShoesOn Mon 25-Aug-08 23:06:59

Seriously- am still laughing!

Pan Mon 25-Aug-08 23:07:03

misi - serious. I do mean serious. Thank you.

zippitippitoes Mon 25-Aug-08 23:07:12

i do seem to have a reasonable success rate with the phone but i didnt realise how important it was shock

zippitippitoes Mon 25-Aug-08 23:08:10

how old is as you get older

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