Mens help needed about 'the snip'(33 Posts)
DH has admitted thatthis is something he needs to do.
As all other methods of contraception have been ruled out for one reason or another.
however he has asked to have some time to get his head round it.
He says if he was unconscious for the procedure - no problem he would have it tomorrow. But it's the being awake part that he is finding hard to come to terms with.
Dad's how long is reasonable for him to 'get his head round it' - he has had 6 weeks now.
He has'nt approached our GP or anything yet, and I think it might help him to get some actual facts rather than go on hear say and what he see on TV.
hi I was the same I had made my mind up years ago, that after our third i would have the snip, but i also wanted it while i was a sleep as the thought of your tackle being manhandled while your awake is scary, I also had a fear of what i would feel due to the fact i had another minor op under local and felt all the pulling and tugging (not nice).
The day after DD was born the GP did a home visit as she was born at home, so I collered him there and then, he asked many questions most were ok but some not so but got through them, he refered me over to the hospital as i wanted it under general, but the consultant would not perform the op under general as they was no medical reason for it,he just told me to be brave!
I had my op back in march and it was a doddle I was even thinking of going straight back to work on the way home after it but took the afternoon off. I felt nothing physcal just the unease of some stranger messing about down there.
I am of the opinion that should i have had it done under general the bruisng would be worse as i dont think they would be as gental
hope this helps
Thanks AM, it will help DH to hear it from another mans point of view.
I will definatley pursue him going to talk to the doctor.
DH is evangelical about the snip. He too had no problems with it beyond the embarassment. He said it's definitely better than dental treatment. The main problem is the embarassment, but that got very short shift from me after years of smears and two births.
They give men far better drugs for vasectomies than women ever get for anything gynae. DH was tripping on the valium they gave him, he came home and pretended to walk up stair sideways as if on a Stannah Stair Lift. He thought it was hilarious
He now tells everyone what a breeze it all was and the lack of fear of pregnancy certainly helps with future marital relations!
To be fair, dh did say it was unpleasant while it was being done, but it was over so quickly and he had no problems with the recovery. It is such a relief not needing to worry about contraception now.
One bit of advice is this.
It doesn't hurt, but afterwards do not ask your DH to do anything for a week. Drive/pick up babies/hoover etc.
My DH had it and heard so many bad stories about things going wrong AFTERWARDS because men try to do too much.
He will not feel it but unless he rests afterwards then an infection would be painful.
We shag loads more now that there is no risk of pg.
That should encourage him a bit!!
my dp had it 3 mths ago. I will get him to post.
He will revell in revealing that he took 4x usual amount of anaesthetic!!!
Fine btw no worries
Had the snip under general. That was strange!! But I decided after DS born and the consultant asked for us both to be happy with the decision and tbh it was a decision I had made solely before consulting the GP. If you want it done, you want it done. btw according to DW it was a below the waist 'injury' so i was capable of painting after 2 days of 1 week off
i'm thinking of having myself fixed instead of him so that it's permanent right away.
Had the snip under general local, 45 minutes. That was strange!! But I decided after DS born and the consultant asked for us both to be happy with the decision and tbh it was a decision I had made solely before consulting the GP. If you want it done, you want it done. btw according to DW it was a below the waist 'injury' so i was capable of painting after 2 days of 1 week off
exp. Its permanent (thinks-aside from th efact that they can join of there own accord??), but only signed off by the GP after the two samples provided. Many yrs down the line with no sign off we have had no 'scares'. Its a big step for either of you's, but we talked after the solo decision so..
i think i want it more, tbh. i want this part of my life, the possibility of becoming pregnant again, to be over. for good. i've been thinking about it, tbh, for about 3 years.
i'm a bit older than DH as well. i'll be 38 in feb. and i honestly can't face another pregnancy. at the same time, i could never terminate a pregnancy.
i have had AND and PND three times now. have hypertension. anaemia. 2 difficult deliveries.
3 years expat!! am sorry to hear about the suffering you experienced. tbh does DH/DP know how you feel. I would expect more support imho
oh, he knows. we went back and forth over no. 3, should we, shouldn't we? then i conceived on accident, but had a missed miscarriage.
after this, we decided to go for it, and i got pregnant again one cycle after the ERPC for the missed m/c.
now we have a son after two daughters.
he's been my rock through all my PND episodes, but we're both feeling pretty complete.
i'd be happy taking combined pill, but i have hypertension so taht's out for me.
progesten-only contraception really doesn't work for me as it always exacerbates my depression, and i don't like the copper coil - who wants worse PMT and heavier periods?
if he has the snip, he has to travel long distances to donate a sample, the services aren't offered here.
so i'd rather go for something that's effective immediately and over in a day and just not have to worry about it anymore.
dh had the snip 6 weeks after I had our second child. I have had 2 very difficult pgs but we have 2 beautiful children. All through the 2nd pregnancy (and the birth) I reminded him that he had agreed.
To be fair he booked his appt and although he was sore for a day or so he didn't moan. I had weeks in hospital with severe hyperemesis so it kind of put the discomfort into perspective for him. (also I was sympathethic to him after the procedure)
Thos is something dh and I are thinking about at the moment, we have 2 dcs and fairly certain we don't want anymore. can't say I mind dh having a little discomfort after all the pain I had. But it is interesting to read other people's experiences. The only people we know where the man had a vasectomy, he was advised to wait until his newborn ds was at least one (incase their ds died or something. we do not live in Bangladesh)
I thought this sounded mad at the time. Like anyone can have a baby but you have to reallllly think about choosing NOT to have them!
Personally I really dislike the opinion that some people (some health professionals) seem to have in that you should wait in case something "happens" to one of your existing children. I have even heard people advised to not go for it in case something happens to their dp.
Well sorry, but dh made a decision for him and me, not what some mythical future wife might think if I die/we split up or whatever.
dh was fine after his - he had it under general though - no idea why it differs from one hosp to another. He was back to work 2 days later and no really bad side effects (apart from his bezzer ringing him up and singing great balls of fire to him every hour).
Our sex life is LOADS better now as well.
Bizarre that the gp will always focus on the worst, but ours said "I have to ask etc etc". Agree with wtf on the sex life, its brill [snorts]
Tell him his willy will grow by at least 1 1/2 inches. Its the Gods honest truth.
DH had it done in June, just got the all-clear.
From what I understood, it's not 'permanent' straight away because there is still some stored sperm that can be released up to a few weeks afterwards, so we used condoms until we got the letter.
DH said it hurt a bit, and was a sore for a few days afterwards, but he's loving the results now that we can be all carefree and spontaneous again, well worth it he reckons!
Here is a link to the printed info you would get if you went to see your GP(there are others, this is what I use):vasectomy info
Incidentally the reason doctors ask if you are sure is because vasectomy is very difficult to reverse and the success rate is low. About a third of people requesting sterilisation later request reversal and this is both avoidable if the person is counselled appropriately and makes an informed decision, it also is an unnecessary cost to the NHS.
well, i don't know about DH, but i know for definite that even if the worst happened, i don't want to be pregnant/give birth again. ever. it's just too hard on my physical and mental health.
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