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Sexual technics

(259 Posts)
EvansMr Sun 15-Jun-08 20:43:51

share your sexual secrets
I lay her on her back with me on my side and flick the bean while goin at it like a jack hammer
seems to work every time

is there any technics you would like to share?

dizzydixies Sun 15-Jun-08 21:13:40

manky - good point about the 3 point turn or should we use the term U bend in relation to plumbing?!?!

TheTeaspoonLady Sun 15-Jun-08 21:14:56

I think his only other move may be to get into bed by 9pm.
It is a school day tomorrow, after all! grin

dizzydixies Sun 15-Jun-08 21:16:00

tis past watershed now, his parental control will have automatically switched off his laptop and it'll be lights out

Sidge Sun 15-Jun-08 21:18:43

Your technic, sorry, technique sounds bloody awful to me.

If you flicked my bean (ouch) whilst banging me like a jackhammer I'd punch you in the bollocks.

mankymummy Sun 15-Jun-08 21:20:07

aha... assuming you could find them sidge... i suspect they have yet to descend!

eenybeeny Sun 15-Jun-08 21:21:54

how do these children find MN anyway?? You'd think the idea of a load of old (or in my case, gorgeously young grin) mothers would bore them to tears!!

I am not that young anyway. blush for the record.

mankymummy Sun 15-Jun-08 21:24:52

if for him it "works every time" i would imagine the poor lady in question has logged on to mumsnet with his id and posted the OP looking for inspiration, all the while whilst he is "flicking the bean and going for it like a jack hammer".

lackaDAISYcal Sun 15-Jun-08 21:25:18

he was maybe looking to be taught a thing or two as his GF wants sex, but he is a clueless virgin? and we scared him off, bless smile

No doubt he googled sex techniques technics though and got a link to one of the more colourful MN threads!

umberella Sun 15-Jun-08 21:25:19


you filthy little pervert. pity the poor lass who gets the hmm benefit of your erm ....technic (pmsl) when yer jack is old enough for a hammerin'.

hope your mum's a mner and catches you out.

mankymummy Sun 15-Jun-08 21:27:26

or..... it could be a MNers DP looking for inspiration [shock}

come on everyone... check whereabouts of DPs!!!!!

mankymummy Sun 15-Jun-08 21:27:57

damn shock i meant.

TiggerLicious Sun 15-Jun-08 21:29:43

ROFL at notjustmum grin grin

notjustmom Sun 15-Jun-08 21:33:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dizzydixies Sun 15-Jun-08 21:48:12

mine, am happy to announce, is in the room with me and also PHSL at this thread so its not mine grin

umberella Sun 15-Jun-08 21:49:05

<looks concerned>

EvansMr Sun 15-Jun-08 22:00:40

Allright there girls? No ofense but if there is plenty of other places where you can post away about your banjos and baps. This forum is for the lads so unless you got something good to say ?


dizzydixies Sun 15-Jun-08 22:01:55

there ARE plenty of places

and fyi its fanjos and norks on here grin

maidamess Sun 15-Jun-08 22:01:56

Ha Ha!!

ruddynorah Sun 15-Jun-08 22:04:01

28???!!! flippin eck.

shouldn't you be off strumming your girlfriend's banjo rather than being on here chatting to a lot of mums?

Flamesparrow Sun 15-Jun-08 22:04:33

loving "banjos"

YeahBut Sun 15-Jun-08 22:06:00

I think "Bang Yer Banjo" sounds like a technic classic in the making...

DelicateCreature Sun 15-Jun-08 22:07:10

This is the funniest thread I have read for ages
rofl at manky mummy et al

dizzydixies Sun 15-Jun-08 22:07:25

do you think he types in mums net instead of readers wives?! I can see why he's confused hmm

readers wives - here you are!

dizzydixies Sun 15-Jun-08 22:08:10

and people - don't click on it if easily offended - it is the ACTUAL link to readers wives grin

onepieceoflollipop Sun 15-Jun-08 22:08:35

There's another thread with a poor pg lady with a swollen banjo. Also we were all leaving shopping lists with f banjo written on them.

Bit boring in Newport this evening is it? Not interested in the footie?

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