Coronavirus - key worker - what to do with kids

[Bobty123]

Hi,

So obviously I’m sure you’re all aware of the news for lockdown in the UK.

Now as I am a key worker I still have to go to work during this time where I will be working in a building that have approx 800 staff across all shifts.

Now while I don’t want to stop seeing my kids (I have them Tuesday and on weekends) I also don’t want to be putting them at risk. 1 has asthma and 1 has a genetic condition which can effect a whole number of things within the body.

What should I do? What do I have to do? I don’t want them at risk by being with me as I have a higher chance of catching it due to work than their mother does who doesn’t work. Am I going to have to stick to video calls for the 3 weeks outlined?

I messaged her last night before going to bed saying that we needed to have a talk regarding the kids and what we are going to do and the text I got this morning was basically saying no. She doesn’t want to change because we’ve already seen each other so what’s the difference if we keep seeing each other and she still needs to do shopping! (She also has an 19yo daughter living at the home who would have no issue in minding the kids for hour while she goes shop, literally around the corner) I replied back my concerns from still being in work with so many different people and catching it at a later date and then passing it on but will have to wait to see what she says.

Any advice during this time is greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[mamansnet]

It's very hard but I would stick to video calls. While kids tend to be robust, yours have health issues and you HAVE to put that first. It sounds like you're an NHS worker, which puts you at a high risk of catching it and passing it on.

It's not worth the risk. You might have to put up with some grief from their mother for a while, but at least you'll know you acted for the best. Remember to explain it properly to your kids too, in age-appropriate language, so that they don't only get their mother's view on it.

[OrganzaLopez]

Do you have a court order in place? If so that needs to be carried out except with mutual agreement with the mum. If i were her id be delighted that the kids safety is at the forefront and jump on the chance to keep them safe with me. Re shopping thats pathetic really , could you offer to drop the shopping off for her?

[Bobty123]

It would be something I would suggest yes. I just don’t want to have even a 1% chance of me catching it and passing it on my children, who then in turn could pass that on to her, and with her being a smoker for 20/25 years I wonder what effect the virus would have on her.

I have seen the latest news from the government saying children can move between households (which contradicts their advice) but does not say anything about parent who is classed as ‘key worker’

[Imstillskanking]

They should stay with their mother for now. You would put them at risk. It's not just about you physically interacting with them- your entire house could be infected. The virus can live on surfaces for quite a long time. They shouldn't be in your house if they don't have to be.

I'm so sorry OP, you have my genuine sympathy. It's heartwrenching to have to stay away from someone you love so much. I know this myself from experience. But these are not normal circumstances. Tough times ahead.

Schedule in those video calls so they are a proper, regular feature of your lives. Eat meals together, get them to show you crafts they have made, activities they are working on. Try to carry on as normally as you can.

[amandalives]

I think children moving between households should be a last resort, where necessary for two key workers to still work. I think for the safety of your children given they're high risk I would push for video calls and suggest doing her shopping (at least for days you'd normally have them) otherwise they'll be dragged around the shop. If she pushes for you to see them then I'm afraid she's selfish and putting lives at risk for presumably a few hours peace.

[Bobty123]

Thank you!