Should we just assume they're safe?

[Anniemousely]

Firstly I am not a dad but writing on his behalf as he slowly loses his marbles over the whereabouts of his 3 children.

Yes they are estranged, yes mum alienated him to the point of bi-monthly email, yes there was a court order put in place 2 years ago to relocate to the other side of the world. However, in the same court order it said that he had to be informed PRIOR to the move of the outbound flights, a forwarding address and the school information of the boys.

He was informed 2 days ago that the children had been removed from their respective schools with no reason or forwarding information. This was on the back of all of them having week long illnesses before the half-term (alarm bells anyone?) He has then been informed that 1 week ago an international removal company had been and cleared out the house.

Obviously he has been in touch with the local police, who's response was "we can assume they have gone to the country they have the court order for and therefore there is very little we can do."

Firstly, when was it the police's job to ASSUME anything? I am pretty sure they are in the business of hard facts and evidence no?
Secondly, we are talking about the disappearance of 3 minors to a currently unknown location with one of the people who has parental responsibility completely clueless to their whereabouts. Additionally the school reported an extreme decline in the middle child's behaviour so I'm pretty certain ASSUMING they are ok should be the last thing they are doing.

I am posting on this thread for 2 reasons: Firstly, has anyone been through anything similar and have any ideas what to do next?
Secondly, I am a first-time wife and mum to a husband who has children from a previous marriage. I have seen first hand the discrimination against "absent fathers" and it is appalling how they are never considered victims in the loss of their children. I truly believe most men who walk away from his children don't do it because they are selfish but because they are left no alternative options and very few people stop to hear that side of the story. I have read through pages and pages of threads about the mum in this situation and although I am desperate for ideas about what to do next, I really don't need the judgement or any other assumptions stopping us tracking down these kids and making sure they are ok.

Please help if you can, (and I'm sorry for crashing dadsnet!)

[Ryantrain]

Bi monthly emails saying what? Is there a forwarding address? Does the dad know where they are and can he visit the children or face time them?

This often happens when you have kids with someone who has a foreign or dual citizenship. The court ordered they can relocate. Why didnt the father challenge this?! If the mum is unwell and migh jeopardize the childrens safety why didnt the dad challenge the custody order?

[PatricksRum]

I truly believe most men who walk away from his children don't do it because they are selfish but because they are left no alternative options

Firstly, this is bollocks.

Secondly, prior to them moving away was there a court order contact arrangement?

[Anniemousely]

He did challenge, he asked the court for a will to be put in place to ensure the children were safe. They were of an age where their opinions were taken into place and after 2 years of parental alienation and being promised a better life they made their choice to cut their father out completely. But still he persisted with the emails and consistently tried to build bridges despite their hurtful comments because they are children.
He cannot facetime because the "children don't want to".

Thankfully, the police have tracked them down and they are safe. I guess I misjudged this group. Because, just like all of the mumsnet threads you instantly assumed he had not done EVERYTHING in his power to prevent this and he deserved to lose all contact with his children to the otherside of the world as an absent father.

I hope you are never in this position, or if you are you find people who are a little more understanding that sometimes the dad loses because the courts have no choice but to back the mum. And that came directly from the judge in the court case herself.

[Mintjulia]

Annie, I don’t think people were making assumptions, but there was a lot of unknowns with the original post.
It sounds like the police have complied with the court order, done a welfare check and all is well.