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How to get over your ex.

(6 Posts)
Charlieread1 Sun 16-Feb-20 09:25:31

Hi guys, first time poster here so I’m sorry if this has been gone over before.

Basically me and baby mama have been split up for 2 and a half years now but I still can’t get over her. She’s just started seeing someone and it feels like someone has removed my soul.

We split up in Oct 17, mainly due to the mental health issues I was suffering from March that year. Without going in to explicit detail I had a major issue with a former business partner who went round spreading rumours about me and it just sent me in to depression, and severe anxiety. I wouldn’t want to drive certain roads, i wouldn’t go places and I sold my other business so I didn’t have to be around anyone.

During this time i wasn’t great to be around and was very snappy. I took it out on her a lot. It’s totally my fault but I just couldn’t help it. When this was going on she started staying out after work and getting drunk and stuff it caused further strain because I felt I needed her there and felt she was neglecting me when I needed her the most.

We split up late October and carried on living together till January. For the first few months I was ok i didn’t miss her at all, but I just all changed and I can’t pinpoint when, I just feel like I let her down. We started getting along a lot better and started doing things again - I even took her to a Liverpool match - she was invited to everything with the boy and my family and it was all ok.

I even wrote her a 18 page letter explaining where my head was when we went through those last few months and stuff to try make sure she didn’t feel bad but she said all that did was make her feel worse.

Anyway, this weekend I walked in to her house to drop off the boy (he lives with me 5 days a week) and on the sofa there was a valentines card “to my boyfriend” when I asked her I got the normal none response of a mumble. It absolutely crushed me. I can’t explain it. I picked my son up yesterday and had to try my best (and failed) not to cry in front of him. I just feel like I’ve let him and her down by not being the person I should’ve been for them. It’s absolutely crushed me I can’t even begin to think of what it will be like if she wants to introduce him to my son. I know I need to get over her, I’ve tried. I wasn’t dating this girl but i was sleeping with her up until a few weeks ago when funnily enough she told me she wanted a relationship but I told her I just wasn’t ready. I really need advice to get past all this and be happy. Every time I think of getting a gf I feel sick like I’m cheating on her or something, I feel like I can never meet anyone and online dating is definitely not for me, I just don’t know what to do and feel completely lost and my son seeing me cry has upset me even more

MrBrightside1980 Sun 16-Feb-20 14:55:38

Can't offer any advice but I'm in the same position, in so much as not being able to get over or move on. Separated in Sep 2018. After about 6 months I felt like I understood how things were and had some semblance of acceptance about this. Fast forward to around Christmas just gone and I'm back to square one. Hit me completely out of the blue. So depressed about things and missing every single aspect of our former lives. I don't know if she has met anyone else in the time that we've been separated, not that I could blame her if she had, but I just feel this crushing weight of loss. Like I'm forever going to be stuck in the past and no sign of a future. I too have children and it's extremely difficult of late not to talk about the 'old times', and how I do wish we could all have that again.
Like I say, no advice as I'm there too but wanted to let you know you're not alone in these feelings! Good luck to you

Genvonklinkerhoffen Sun 16-Feb-20 14:59:19

Good luck. It's not easy and everyone is different. Sorry, no help... if I had advice I'd have taken it myself.

Charlieread1 Sun 16-Feb-20 15:13:46

I appreciate it lads, it’s absolutely horrible.

slipperywhensparticus Sun 16-Feb-20 15:16:27

With respect you sound like you need a little outside help and support

Charlieread1 Sun 16-Feb-20 16:39:49

I agree but you know what it’s like, talking to people means weakness kinda thing. I dunno what it is but I just wish I could shake it off

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