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Male perspective - lack of sex

(2 Posts)
anotherglass Mon 19-Aug-19 19:36:41

Looking for some male perspective on this situation.
Met a guy via OLD 4 months ago and we really hit it off when we met. The attraction was very intense and we were initially at it like rabbits. 6 weeks in he tells me he has issues ranging from depression to high blood pressure. He is also has ED and was taking pills to deal with this tho not on any meds for the depression. I was understanding and supportive because I liked the guy.
Subsequent to this the sex had dramatically tailed off. On the last two occasions we have met -and things have got spicy - we have not had full sex because he has not taken his ED pill. He says there is no issue with the ED pills interacting with the blood pressure meds, but that it was not ‘safe’ to have full sex just now, as he needs to lose weight. He is about the same weight as when I met him.
He has joined a gym, is taking BP medication daily and has cut coffee and alcohol from his diet.
While not having full sex, he will be sexually intimate me in other ways without me pushing. He is very affectionate, with kissing and hand holding, hasn’t dropped contact and is arranging further dates.
However, while lying in bed he has started to get an erection in his sleep but put his hand down to stop it. He does not want to have sex - at least not with me.
I am not sure what to make of this situation. Is it unusual to have such a sudden change in your sex patterns? Why would a man not feel ‘safe’ to have sex while using ED meds? He is a single guy with no kids and we don’t live together. It has crossed my mind that there could be someone else on the scene now. Thoughts, insight and questions to put to him would be appreciated.

Otherpeoplesteens Tue 20-Aug-19 12:43:43

Do a thirty second trawl through google for ED pills and their contraindications. High blood pressure is plastered all over the warnings. My guess is that he has acquired them with sub-optimal medical input (i.e. bought them off the internet or from a market stall, or possibly over the counter from a pharmacist who he lied to about his BP meds) just to be able to do the deed, and has then either come to his senses and decided to follow advice, or he has had some sort of 'episode' while using them which scared the crap out of him.

My guess is the latter, although if he went to his doctor and asked for a legitimate prescription he might have had the riot act read to him too.

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